


It won't beat us

by Afstory



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, Bisexual Eddie Diaz, Bisexual Evan "Buck" Buckley, Cancer, Caring Eddie Diaz, Choose Your Own Adventure, Dad Evan "Buck" Buckley, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Evan "Buck" Buckley Loves Eddie Diaz, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, F/M, Family Feels, First Dates, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Hospitals, Hugs, Humor, Hurt Eddie Diaz, Idiots in Love, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Protective Eddie Diaz, Protective Evan "Buck" Buckley, Romance, Sad Evan "Buck" Buckley, Slow Build, Worried Eddie Diaz, Worried Evan "Buck" Buckley, buddie, eddie diaz - Freeform, evan buckley - Freeform, speak up, supportive friends, testicular cancer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:41:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 25,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25309135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Afstory/pseuds/Afstory
Summary: It was Just another day at the firehouse, with some minor calls that some of the team would consider a waste of their time and why do they have to do it, case in point: helping a fat ginger cat out of the tree it got stuck in. The 118 team are currently watching as Eddie slowly climbs the ladder to collect the cat out of the tree.
Relationships: Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Christopher Diaz & Evan Buckley, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley & Maddie Buckley, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz/Bobby Nash, Evan “Buck” Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 68





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a story I've wanted to do for a long time and is close to me, I hope I do it justice I have tried to research a lot of things so I may have some things mixed up but if I have leave a comment or find me on Tumblr and I can make changes.  
> Thanks to purpleorchid86 for checking this

It was Just another day at the firehouse, with some minor calls that some of the team would consider a waste of their time and why do they have to do it, case in point: helping a fat ginger cat out of the tree it got stuck in. The 118 team are currently watching as Eddie slowly climbs the ladder to collect the cat out of the tree.

“Come on old man, I know you can move quicker than that.” Buck shouts up jokingly.

“Shut up.” Eddie snaps back crankily.

“Ooooh someone is moody today.” Hen jokes as she pats Buck on his shoulder.

“Just let me focus on the job at hand, not all of us can have an easy job of standing there doing nothing can we?” Eddie shouts as he continues up.

Buck and Hen look at each other and start laughing and then they look at Bobby who shakes his head at them. He walks over to where the ladder is with Chimney at the bottom holding it steady for Eddie.

“Diaz come on. I want to be out of here in five minutes.” Bobby shouts with some authority.

“Okay, Cap” Eddie shouts back.

Once he reaches the top of the ladder he shuffles on to the branch and sits awkwardly and he feels a pull in his groin but he ignores it as he works his way to the cat which is hissing and clawing at him.

“Come on, you stupid cat.” Eddie whispers at it.

As he reaches out to grab the cat. It lashes out and claws at his glove and that was the last straw so he snaps and just grabs it by the scruff on its neck and once he has it close to his chest listening to it hiss and growl, he starts to shuffle back. He sees Buck climbing up to get hold of it.

“I’ll take it.” Buck says giving Eddie a big smile.

“Fine.” He snorts.

He passes the cat to Buck and waits for Buck to get down, listening to Buck talk to the cat like it was a baby and Eddie shakes his head at him so he can start coming down, as he climbs down, he can hear the family thanking the team as he reaches the bottom Chimney pats him on the back.

“Evil things aren’t they” Chimney jokes.

“Yeah” Eddie says before walking off and heading to the truck, the rest of the team say their goodbyes and head to the truck and join Eddie who is now sitting in the truck.

“You ok, Eds?” Buck asks

“I’m fine. I just don’t see why we are wasted on dumb things like that.” Eddie says.

“It’s part of the job, but I agree it seems a waste to have us come out, what would have happened if there was something major at the other side of town and we were late for helping a cat?” Hen adds.

“Lucky that didn’t happen, what was up Diaz you seemed sluggish getting up there?” Bobby asked

“He’s just showing his age.” Buck jokes.

“Why is everything got be a joke with you?” Eddie snaps at Buck who looks shocked the rest of the team goes quiet “I’ll be quicker next time Cap.” He says looking at Bobby.

“Sorry, Eddie” Buck says sheepishly.

Eddie does not even look at him just rests his head against the window of the truck hoping to get some peace and quiet.

“Someone needs to have a proper nap.” Chim snarks.

“Chim, I can hear you, you’re on the same headset channel” Eddie snarks as he looks over

Chimney just goes red and Buck nudges Chimney and laughs at him. Eddie returns to resting his head against the window, as the truck continues the way back, they start to pull in, as they do the radio goes off about a fire at a factory.

“Hen and Chim, you two jump out and get in the ambulance and follow us.” Bobby says.

Eddie just continues to have his head against the window, he knew the world would not let him have at least a few minutes of rest.

“Right, it’s a major fire when we get there, Buck, you and Johnson will head in and look for anyone who may be trapped in there.” Bobby starts

“Cap, I’m better prepared for this kind of thing, no offense Johnson.” Eddie pipes up

“Yeah, but after seeing how slow you were and how tired you do look now, you will be more of a problem. So, you will be on hose duty and keeping the flames down as well as you can or at least until the whole team is out.” Bobby says in a firm tone.

“Ok Cap.” Eddie responds and sits there looking down at his feet.

Eddie could not believe he was getting put on hose duty, yes, he was tired and a bit sluggish, but he was way better than Johnson even when tired. But he did not want to be pulled up by Bobby for insubordination, so he just kept quiet. He notices that Buck moved closer to him and taps him on his shoulder, he looks up at them big blue eyes and smiles a dull smile at him, Buck indicates to pull his headset off just like Buck had.

“Eds, what is up? You look tired.” Buck says worriedly.

“Nothing, I’m fine just one of them days that’s all, sorry for snapping at you before.” Eddie explains lying to his friend.

“Well, I’ll come round later and cook for us, I’m sure Chris would like to have a happy person round instead of Mr grumpy gills.” Buck smiles as he pats Eddie on his knee.

“Ugh, do you really have to keep referring me as that? Chris called it me once, you are never going let it go, are you? But yeah, that would actually be good.” Eddie says.

“Cool, well best put our headsets back on before we get told off.” Buck says with a grin.

They both place there headsets on and Buck doesn’t move just sits next to Eddie keeping him grounded, he knew he should have said no to Buck. But if he could get an easy night later he was going take it. They arrive at the fire and it is in full effect they all jump out the trucks. Hen and Chimney start on the injured, Buck and Johnson quickly gear up ready to enter, while Eddie and some others quickly unravel the hose and instantly start hosing the Factory and trying get the flames under control. Eddie listens into the radio as Bobby gives orders.

“Buck and Johnson, we’ve been told there at least one person in there still somewhere along the lower levels. So, go in get them, if you can find them get them but no heroics understood? You guys have to be in and out quickly as possible, hose teams please make sure we have a steady spread over the entrance and the lower windows.” Bobby says

“Copy that.” the whole team said.

Eddie works on spraying the main entrance and watches as Buck and Johnson run in, he spends the next five minutes making sure the lower level is well saturated and keeping the other team’s hose team focused on keeping their level under control.

“Buck, Johnson report.” Bobby says over the radio

“No, luck yet. We’re moving to the last room.” Johnson replies

“Cap, I found them but they’re dead” Buck states over the radio.

As they talk a loud crash can be heard and then nothing, Eddie looks to the left and see’s that the wall has fallen and looks like it has set off the rest of the building.

“Buck, Johnson get out now the building is coming down!” Bobby states on the radio.

“Were on our way, heading towards main entrance.” Buck states

A few minutes go by and no one appears there is a few rumbles and another crash and smoke comes billowing out the main entrance door and a figure falls out. Eddie runs over just as Bobby gets there its Johnson, Eddie pulls off the mask and tank, to help her breathe.

“Where’s Buck?” Eddie asks panicked.

“He was right behind me.” She states as she starts coughing.

“Buck do you copy?” Bobby states the sound of silence follows

Eddie looks at the tank it is ¾ full he slips it on and starts putting the mask on.

“Diaz, what do you think you are doing?” Bobby asks

“I am not going leave him in there, you get her over to Hen. I’ll be in and out I promise” Eddie says as he pulls the mask over and stands up and makes his way in.

As he walks through the main entrance its full of smoke and orange light, he can feel the pull in his groin and it hurts but he blocks it out, remembering what his dad use to say ‘we are Diaz men, we let nothing faze us or bother us we must be strong to look after the ones we love, our needs come last’ with that thought in his head he pushes through and continues walking looking for Buck, and he finally sees him and he is pinned under a stack of shelves.

“Buck are you ok?” Eddie asks as he kneels.

“Yeah, Eddie but I’m pinned I can’t move my leg.” Buck says.

“Hey, Cap I have him, but he is pinned going be a few minutes longer.” Eddie says

“Hurry up were not sure how long you got.” Bobby says and Eddie ignores replying his main goal get Buck out, he looks down at Buck.

“Don’t worry I got you.” Eddie says and knows this must be bringing back bad memories for Buck.

“Hey, look at me tell me, what are you cooking later?” Eddie says

“What the fuck Eddie? This isn’t the place to talk about food.” Buck says

“Just do it.” Eddie says as he stands up and starts moving debris.

“Do you fancy pancakes? Or I could do tacos?” Buck says the latter as if to himself.

Eddie laughs and says “Well, we both know what Chris will want but let’s do tacos and not mention pancakes.”

He moves the last bit of the debris from the shelves and tries lift and Buck lets out a loud scream and Eddie stops.

“It hurts” Buck says

“I know I’m sorry, look I need to lift and it’s going to hurt but when I say three, you need pull yourself out understand?” Eddie says looking at Buck

“Okay.” Buck nods, gritting his teeth in determination.

“On three. One, two, three.” Eddies says as he lifts on three and Buck pulls him self out clawing at the floor to get out once Eddie sees Buck is out, he drops the shelves.

He sits next to Buck a min just to catch his breath the adrenaline is starting to wear off and he can feel the tiredness coming, he knows he has to push through and be strong, he stands up and holds his hand out to help Buck up, he pulls him up and helps him walk but he struggles and the sound of the falling burning is getting closer, he stops looks at Buck and picks him up and puts him in a fireman carry and walks towards the exit.

“DIAZ, BUCKLEY where are you!?!” Bobby is shouting down the radio.

Eddie cannot answer he is using all his strength to carry Buck. He finally can see the daylight; he keeps going until they finally make it out. Eddie falls to his knees and Bobby helps pull Buck off him as Chimney checks over Eddie and takes off the mask and tank.

“You ok, Diaz?” Chimney asks.

“Yeah fine. Check on Buck, his leg was pinned.” Eddie says and gives Bobby a look of concern.

“Ok, Chim let’s get Buck to the ambulance, Eddie you move over to Hen.” Bobby says.

He watches as Chim and Bobby carry Buck to the ambulance and Eddie walks over to Hen who is by the truck. She looks at him and smiles.

“That boy loves getting himself in trouble, doesn’t he?” Hen says, shaking her head.

“That he does.” He replies as he sits down

“You okay, you look exhausted.” Hen asks with a worried look.

“Wouldn’t you be when you have to carry out the blue-eyed wannabe hero.” Eddie jokes as he rubs his groin.

“Very true. you pull something?” Hen says

“Yeh from that stupid cat call, and then the extra weight of carrying Buck didn’t exactly help. I’ll be fine once I rest.” Eddie says.

“Here, get some of this down into you and you will need a shower you’re filthy.” Hen laughs as she passes him a bottle of water.

They sit there as they watch the factory basically crumble. Eddie enjoys the cool water as it flows down his throat, he looks over and sees Bobby walking over to him he knows he is going get told off but he doesn’t care he saved Buck so it will be worth it.

“Diaz, when I give you an order you follow it understand?” Bobby says, and Hen turns away.

“Yes Cap, but we both know if I hadn’t had gone in you would have.” Eddie replies

“That would be my call not yours. But having said that, good work you got him out safe.” Bobby says with a smile. “Just no more heroics.” Bobby jokes.

“How are they?” Hen asks.

“Johnson will be fine, and Buck is getting checked over his leg going bruise but that’s it.” Bobby says

“Bet he was scared when he was pinned bringing up the memories of what happened” Hen says looking at Eddie.

“Yeah he didn’t say anything, but I could see it, I got him to talk about what he was cooking later to keep his mind off it.” Eddie says.

“What did he say? I bet it was pancakes.” Bobby lets out a laugh.

“Yup. But we decided tacos, even though I know he will mention pancakes to Christopher so we will end up with them or he will play the ‘I’m injured’ card so they’re easier to make.” Eddie jokes

“Here he comes, the wanna be hero.” Hen shouts as Buck gets closer.

Eddie stands up watching as Buck limps over to them, he is ready to head back and have a rest. Thank god their shift is nearly over. As he turns around to get in the truck, he feels a tap on his shoulder, and he turns round and is embraced in Buck’s strong arms.

“Thanks, Eds, for getting me out of there and keeping my mind off well… you know.” Buck says as he pulls him tighter in and Eddie folds his arms round Buck.

“Any time, we have each other’s back remember?” Eddie says as he breaks the hug.

“True.” Buck smiles and they all climb in the truck.

The truck ride back is slightly silent the hum of the engine and Eddie looks over to Buck who is massaging his leg.

“Hey Eddie, I know we said tacos later but seeing as my leg hurts, I’ll do pancakes it’ll be easier.” Buck says as he looks over to Eddie.

There is sound of laughter coming over the headsets from Bobby, Chimney and Hen.

“What?” Buck asks looking confused.

“I said you would play that card so you can do pancakes” Eddie says shaking his head.

“Rude.” Buck snips, but he smiles.

Eddie places his head against the window and must have nodded off, as the next thing he remembers is the truck pulling back into the station. The team were all covered in soot and crap from the fire, the factory was a total loss and luckily only one person had died and that was even before the fire. Everyone else made it out, as the team got out the truck and all headed off in their different directions, placing their dirty turncoats and equipment down to be cleaned. Eddie watched as Buck and Chimney head into the shower, Buck limping a bit more now. He starts to follow and sits down, he was feeling drained had been for the last few days, but he puts it down to the lack of sleep along with the extra shifts he’s been picking up just to keep ahead of the bills and the fact that Christopher isn’t playing ball when it comes to bed time. He was always pushing his luck with how late he can stay up. He is hoping with Buck there tonight, he might go bed at the right time, but he knew it could backfire and end up with him been up later.

He decides to go get showered as he stands up, his phone starts ringing and its Carla.

“Hey Carla, everything okay?” Eddie asks concernedly.

“Not really. Christopher is throwing up I have put him on the couch, I just wanted give you a heads up.” Carla says

“Ok, I’m pretty much done. I’ll see if I can get to leave now and head home.” Eddie says

“See you soon.” Carla says as she hangs up

Eddie grabs his stuff he knows he should shower but if Chris is sick he wants get home and look after him he can easily shower when home, he walks out the locker room and looks for Bobby who is luckily at the front talking to the next shift.

“Hey Bobby, you got a second?” Eddie asks

“Yeah what’s up”?” Bobby asks

“Is it okay if I shoot off now, Carla just rung me, and Christopher is sick.” Eddie says.

“Yeah, you go. You were due finish in twenty minutes, anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow you are still ok for the 10am shift till 10pm?” Bobby questions

“Thanks Cap, and yeah I am, see you in the morning” Eddie says as he starts to walk off, feeling the twinge in his groin and just shakes his leg, trying to get rid of it.

He jumps into his truck and autopilots home once he pulls in the driveway, he says his goodbyes to Carla and goes to check on Christopher, who is on the sofa with a blanket on and a bowl next to him.

“Hey buddy, how are you feeling?” Eddie asks

“Not good, my tummy hurts.” Chris says

“I know it will pass soon” Eddie replies “I’ll go get some water.” he continues

He walks in to the kitchen to get a glass of water for Christopher and one for himself, he drinks his as he walks over to the sofa and sits next to Christopher he knows he should change, but he’s tired and knows he can clean the sofa later as the likely hood of Chris been sick on it is high. He lets Chris have a sip of water and watches as he nods off watching tv. Eddie can feel himself nodding off and falls asleep.

When he finally wakes, he looks over to his side to see if Christopher is awake and panic sets in. He was not there, and there was no sign of the blanket or bowl.

“Chris-” Eddie starts to say in a loud tone.

“SHHHH!” Buck shushes as he walks into the living room limping still.

“Buck what are you doing here?” Eddie asks shocked to see him

“Remember I was coming round to make pancakes, But when I got out the shower and dressed and I couldn’t find you, I asked Bobby and he explained Chris was sick so you went off, which by the way thanks for texting me to let me know.” Buck says with a grin

“Sorry, I must have fallen asleep. I remember getting him a glass of water and then I sat down. Sorry, it was just a long day.” He replies.

“It has. Well in the three hours I have been here, I have put Chris in his own bed tidied up and got the pancake mix ready. I’ll be making you some food soon.” Buck says as he sits down on the sofa.

“What!?! Three hours, I couldn’t have been out that long.” Eddie says shocked. Buck just nods “And you didn’t have to tidy up I was going do it later.” He finishes.

“Its fine, now you go shower and change, you stink.” Buck says as he yawns

“Yeah I will, and don’t you fall asleep on me you have food to make.” Eddie laughs.

He gets up and starts to head out he turns and looks over at Buck who is sat there his eyes half opened and closed he knew by the time he got out the shower and changed Buck would be out cold and he would have to attempt make the pancakes on his own. he shakes his head at that thought and heads into his room he picks up some clean clothes and heads into the bathroom.

In the bathroom he sheds his clothes and looks in the mirror at the dirt on his face, he turns the shower on and waits for it to warm up, once its hot enough he jumps in and starts cleaning away the grime and muck, really lathering his hair with shampoo and watches as the dirt washes down. Once he has cleaned his hair, he starts on his body. He wiped the body wash over his chest before letting the warm water run over him. he starts on his lower half. As, he brushes over his left testicular it felt a bit sore, so he runs his fingers over it and stops when he feels a lump. he stands there for a second and then quickly finishes up showering and steps out and dries off he starts feeling again trying to see if he can find a lump but just as he is about to start checking he hears Christopher, so he quickly gets change and heads in to Christopher’s room.

“What’s up buddy?” Eddie asks.

“I heard something in the living room, it sounded like a cry.” Chris says

“I’ll go check. I know Buck is in there, he most likely watching a film too loud you go back sleep.” Eddie says

“Okay, goodnight Dad.” Christopher says.

Eddie smiles and kisses his forehead before heading out, as he closes the door. He starts walking down the hall, he starts to wonder about the lump, maybe it was nothing he was tired and was not paying much attention, it could have easily been some dirt. As he continues to think about it, his thoughts are stopped when he hears a sound and it did not sound like the TV. It sounded more like Buck. Eddie moved quicker and looked in the living room. Buck was laying down and twitching, he looked like he was having a nightmare he walked over and tapped his shoulder, he did not wake, and Buck started mumbling “Please get it off, it hurts.” Buck mumbles.

Eddie knew straight away what was happening, so he gently lifted Bucks head up and slid him self under so he can rest Bucks head on his lap and stroked his hair running his fingers through the curls. He knew this was something more than friends would do but he did not care he wanted to make Buck feel safe.

“Come on Buck, wake up. You’re fine I’m here.” Eddie says.

Eventually, Buck opens his eyes and sees Eddie smiling at him.

“Well this is erm cosy isn’t it and I’m sorry, I came round to look after you and your looking after me.” Buck says sitting up

“Hey! First off, I do not need looking after. Yeah guess it did look a bit cosy but I know when I do it for Chris when he has nightmares it helps, so if it made you feel awkward, plus I am more than capable of looking after myself and Chris and your wannabe hero ass. I knew it would bring up memories of the truck. Don’t worry as long as you’re okay and you know I’m here but let us go make pancakes.” Eddie says as he gets up rubbing his groin.

“Are you okay? You keep rubbing your groin.” Buck asks

“Yeah, I think I just pulled it getting that stupid cat.” Eddie smiled

‘We are Diaz men; we must be strong for the ones we love.’ Eddie starts to think and knows he needs focus on Chris and Buck they both need him. He will worry about himself another time.

“Eddie, you’re my best friend if your hurt I can help.” Buck says with a worried look.

“It will be okay, just need to rest it.” Eddie explains and turns round.

They walk into the kitchen and start making pancakes as they last lot is cooking Buck turns to Eddie and pulls him in for a hug.

“Thanks for today and just, I don’t know where I be without a friend like you in my life.” Buck says and Eddie feels his heart ache at that he wants Buck so much.

“You know I always have your back, now let’s eat.” Eddie says holding on to the hug a bit longer than he should.

They finish up eating and clean up they sit at the table and talk about random stuff from the calls and it starts getting late.

“You best be going its late.” Eddie says.

“DAD!” Chris shouts before Buck can answer.

Eddie heads to Christopher’s room. As he walks through the door, he is greeted to the sight of Chris puking all over the bed.

“Oh Christopher, you got it everywhere but the bowl!” Eddie tuts, shaking his head

“I’m sorry.” Chris says.

“Don’t be. Come on, I’ll put you on the sofa, at least you didn’t get any on your pjs.” He says as he picks up Chris and the bowl and walks to his room, he sets him down on the sofa.

“I’ll go and clean your bed quickly. If you feel you going be sick again, aim for the bowl this time.” Eddie says with a smile.

As he walks to Chris room, he see’s Buck walk out with the sheets and smiles.

“What are you doing?” He asks

“Cleaning the sheets. Look Eddie, you may not want to admit it to me, but you are exhausted. You need to rest so I’ll stay the night, I’m off tomorrow and you’re doing yet another extra shift and it’s a long one at that, so you go to bed I’ll sit with Christopher and look after him tomorrow.” Buck says with a smile

“I can’t ask you do that Buck.” Eddie says.

“You’re not asking. I’m doing it, it’s what friends do now go bed.” Buck finishes and Eddie will not admit hearing Buck refer to him as friend hurts. He wanted nothing more but to add the boy to the friend word to form the word ‘boyfriend’.

“Fine, just make sure that you’re prepared for a long night and if you need me just come get me.” Eddie says.

Buck limps over and shoves Eddie to his bedroom door, Eddie takes the hint and walks in he heads to the bed and lays down his head, enjoying the comfort of the pillow. His mind wanders to earlier in the shower and that he should really double check to make sure it was okay, but sleep starts to hit him, and he falls asleep, forgetting.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So, what happened? And where is Chris?” Eddie asks.  
> “Well Chris is on the sofa still, and I didn’t put him back to bed as every time I tried to move him back to bed he was sick, so we spent the night on the sofa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay i have been working on other stories but i managed get a few done for this, i will try keep this up to date

Eddie sleeps through till the morning, he turns over and looks at the clock its 8am and his body is sore all over. The events of yesterday and the extra workload without any proper rest is really starting to catch up on him, as he lays there he starts to think back to the last night in the shower. Before he gets in too deep with his thoughts, he hears a crashing sound coming from the kitchen. Eddie jumps up and his groin sends a streak of pain through his body, making Eddie scream silently in pain making him regret jumping up. But he had no time worry about that, he needs investigate the sound that came from the kitchen. As he walks down the hall, he pops his head in Chris’s room no sign of him, he continues going down the hall the smell of coffee hits him. As he gets to the kitchen he is welcomed to Buck on all fours his back to Eddie. Eddie smirks at the sight in front of him.

“So, what happened? And where is Chris?” Eddie asks.

“Well Chris is on the sofa still, and I didn’t put him back to bed as every time I tried to move him back to bed he was sick, so we spent the night on the sofa. As for the smash I was making breakfast for you and the bowl slipped out my hand. I’m sorry if I woke you,” Buck says as he stands with the dustpan full of smashed glass and food.

Eddie looked into the front room and Chris was asleep on the sofa he smiles at the sight and takes a seat down at the table. He places his head in his hands as the adrenaline of worry of what was going on subsides. He moves his hands when he hears something been placed in front of him, when he looks up he is greeted by food, a bunch of pancakes with smiley face, along with a bacon mouth and scrambled eggs nose Eddie couldn’t help himself and smiles.

“Really, Buck?” He says smiling at Buck.

“Well I wanted put a smile on that grumpy face of yours, I was going make Chris some, but he is asleep so ill sort him some out later. Here a strong coffee, you are going need it.” Buck says as he passes him the cup filled with coffee.

“Thanks, Buck,” Eddie says as he takes a sip from the cup and smiles again.

“It is no trouble Eddie, but I am worried about you,” Buck says and sits down next to Eddie, “You are taking on so much you are going burn out sooner or later. You need to rest so I spoke to Bobby and after this shift you are off for the next three days. I’m also off as Bobby wants me rest my leg also.” Buck explains and Eddie starts to get agitated, “I know you’re going to be mad, but you need the rest, so you get a long weekend. I’ll stay in the guest room so you have support, plus then I would know that you really are resting.” Buck explains further and looks at Eddies eyes.

“Buck, you shouldn’t have done that without talking to me, I need the extra shifts,” Eddie says trying to hold the anger back.

“No, what you need is tons of sleep and that boy in there actually needs to see his dad.” Buck points towards Chris who was still asleep on the sofa.

Eddie did not know what say, he knew Buck was right, he had not spent much time with Chris recently. He was too focused on work and kept ahead of things, but he knew he had to be strong he was a Diaz.

 _‘Diaz men are strong and support their family no matter the cost to the man of the house their needs become before you’_ His father’s words come to him from memory.

“I know Buck, but you don’t understand,” Eddie says as he stabs his fork into the pancake.

“Then talk to me and explain.” Buck says staring at Eddie.

Eddie looks at Buck and just stares at the blue eyes staring at him. Those same blue eyes that kept him grounded for some reason. Those same blue eyes that he cannot help but admire. Those same blue eyes that belonged to someone he longed to be with.

“Nothing, forget it.” Eddie says as he starts to eat ignoring Buck’s stare.

Buck huffs and starts to eat is food, once Eddie finishes his food and coffee he heads in to his bedroom. He needed get changed and get to work. By the time he had got a quick shower and changed he stood there, he forgot check if the lump was still there but decided he would check later he needed go with all the messing round and having food he was behind schedule. He headed down the hall Eddie felt his groin have a dull ache.

“Stupid cat,” He says to himself.

“You say something?” Buck asks.

“Was just saying that stupid cat yesterday, making me pull my groin…” Eddie says as he walks into the front room.

Buck laughs and Eddie smiles, he walks over and gives Chris a kiss on the forehead.

“You are sure you’re ok to stay with him, I can get Abuela to come round.” Eddie asks.

“I already spoke to her and told her not to come round just in case. Because maybe later she too would catch it.” Buck laughs.

“When did you speak to her? She was meant have him today anyway…” Eddie quizzes.

“Last night when you were out cold on the sofa, did I forget to tell you? Sorry.” Buck says.

“It is fine I’m sure he would prefer to have you here. I know I do” Eddie says and regrets saying those last three words, he blames his tired mind.

“I like being here, now go to work and when you get back, we will have tacos.” Buck says with a grin.

“You don’t need do that, when I get back you can head home.” Eddie says.

“Well get to work and I’ll see you later.” Buck says.

Eddie nods and heads off, his drive to work felt like it took ages, every road he took there was traffic he manages to get to work with ten minutes to get changed into his uniform. As he heads up the stairs he sees Bobby cooking as usual.

“Morning Eddie, how is Chris?” Bobby asks.

“He is still sick, but Buck is staying with him, well I didn’t get much choice kind of told me it was happening no matter what.” Eddie chuckles.

“Yeah, I spoke to him earlier, I’m guessing he told you?” Bobby quizzes.

“Yeah, you didn’t need give me the time off. I’m fine to work if you need me to.” Eddie says.

“Eddie, no offence but I agree with Buck on this one. You are exhausted, and you haven’t had any proper time off in weeks.” Bobby says giving him a concerned look.

“Ok, I get it I won’t argue.” Eddie smiles.

Just as Eddie is about go get a cup of coffee the alarm goes off; he groans as he walks down the stairs. The rest of the team run, he tries to run but his groin plays up again, once in the truck he looks round he is working with the other team and there is only Bobby who he normally works with. He didn’t mind working with the other team just his normal team knew where each other stood and what they could do and not have worry about each other, he sits there as they ride he looks in the medical bag and grabs some painkillers and takes them hoping they will help ease the pain.

“We have a multicar pile up, we will be working with another two teams, when we get there, we will work a plan of action.” Bobby says over the headset.

“Any information on how many people are involved?” Eddie asks.

“Not at the moment I have requested information so just have to see if they get back to us before we get there.” Bobby says.

Eddie should have guessed it was not going be an easy day, he knew if it started with a bad call it normally set the day, at least he didn’t have to worry about Buck. As they arrive at the pile up they climb out the truck and Eddie can see the other two trucks and watches as Bobby walks over and speaks to the other captains as they point obviously making a plan, Eddie walks round to the side of the truck and starts opening the compartments knowing they will need tools to help get people out. He turns to see Bobby coming and walks over with the rest of the team.

“So, we have six cars and two trucks, luckily there’s no cars wedged between the trucks, Diaz I want you to take Marks and Jones and go and get people out of the two cars on the far side, the other teams will be dealing with the rest.” Bobby explains.

“Ok cap, I’ll get the saw, Marks grab the jaws and Jones grab the medical supplies and the emergency supplies bag with shield guard.” Eddie says to the others and they nod getting the equipment’s.

He picks up the saw and starts walking over looking at the cars they were heading over to. The walk was a good walk but carrying the saw was not helping his groin he was thankful the pills were kicking in. As they got close to the cars Eddie could see in one car there was just the driver which will be easy to get out but the other was wedged between the other car, and the side and two people inside so they will have cut them out. As they got close the ambulance team was arriving and already started assessing the people.

“Hey, so which do you want us get out first?” Eddie asks.

“If you can get the gentleman out in the first car, he’s not injured too much so we can get him out that way and you can focus on the other two, they will need cutting out.” The medic explains.

“Ok will do, Marks let’s get the jaws on the door and get this man out.” Eddie says.

“Ok Diaz.” Marks replies they work and get the door off and help the medics to get the gentleman out.

They then proceeded to move to the next car, Eddie looks over the car and assess how they will get the people out. Judging from the way how the cars were wedged, he knows he must cut the roof off as either side is wedged in too much.

“Marks I’ll need you to use the jaws on the back, I’ll use the saw on the main frame and the we will use the jaws on the front and lift the roof off. Jones I’ll need the shield guard to protect the victims.” Eddie says.

He watches as Jones looks and then he looks at Eddie.

“Sorry I forgot it; I’ll go get it now” Jones explains

“What you mean you forgot it, I told you bring it!” Eddie snaps as he moves away from the car.

“I know… I must have forgot I’ll get it now.” Jones says as he tries to walk off he was stopped by Eddie.

“No, I’ll go get it, make sure the medics are ready.” Eddie says as he walks off back towards the truck.

He starts to run, his groin hating him for it, but he has no choice. Any time wasted is not good for the victims, as he gets to the truck he sees Bobby walking over.

“What are you doing here? Are the victims out” Bobby asks

“No, Jones forgot the fucking shield protector, so I have had to come get it, we will have them out soon.” Eddie replies trying to stay cool.

“Why wasn’t it taken with you Diaz?” Bobby asks in a stern tone.

“I told him bring it along with the other supplies, it’s not my fault he forgot it. I’m not going waste time arguing I’m going head back.” Eddie snaps and starts to run back.

He makes it back and can see everyone waiting.

“We need hurry the passenger is losing a lot of blood.” The medic explains.

“Ok, were going get the roof off as quick as we can” Eddie explains

“What can I do?” Jones asks.

“Well are you going do as your told or only part of what I say.” Eddie snaps.

“Just tell me what do.” Jones says back.

“Fine you set the guard and help Marks and I’ll start on the back” Eddie says.

Eddie picks the saw and moves to the back and watches as Jones sets the guard one in place and he see’s Marks using the jaws. He starts the saw and cuts through the back quickly, he gets off and moves round to the front and Jones moves the guard to the front. Once in place Eddie cuts through the front and they quickly work round the car. Sooner all the sides are cut they place the tools down and take position around the car.

“Can we get a hand here please.” Eddie asks looking at the medics.

“Yeah what do you need us do?” They ask.

“Just take a corner of the roof and on the count of three we lift and move the roof to left and then you can get in ok?” Eddie explains.

Everyone nods to Eddie.

“One, two, three and lift!” Eddie shouts.

They all work together and lift the roof off and once its placed to the side the medics move in and Eddie watches and waits in case they need any more help. Once the victims are on boards heading to the ambulances Eddie turns to Marks and Jones.

“Grab the stuff lets head back to the truck and see what else needs doing.” Eddie says.

He grabs the saw and Watches as Marks and Jones grab the rest and they start walking back.

“Hey, Eddie I’m sorry about earlier.” Jones says.

“Save it, were in the job to save people, and when you don’t listen it puts people in danger!” Eddie snarls back and picks up speed to get away from them.

Once back at the truck they load up the tools and Eddie looks for Bobby, he is most likely going to get shouted at for walking off, but he had to get back Bobby so he could apologize. He knew Bobby would understand. he sees Bobby talking to the other captains.

“Diaz, all done?” Bobby asks.

“Yeah, all out and on their enroute way to hospital.” Eddie explains.

“Ok, well we will head back, and the other teams will finish up.” Bobby says.

As they start walking back towards the truck Bobby places a hand on Eddies shoulder.

“So, what was that back there?” Bobby asks.

“I’m sorry Bobby, but I had to get back and I’m glad I did as when I got back with the guard the medic explained the passenger was bleeding out. I’m sorry I snapped at you, but I explained to Jones what I needed, and he forgot and…” Eddie explains but Bobby cut him off.

“I get that, and I will have words with him, but you need to control yourself. I know in the heat of the moment things can be said so just think ok?” Bobby says.

“Ok cap.” Eddie says.

They get back to the truck and hop in and start heading back, Eddie sits back and rests his head against the side of the truck, listening to the others talk but not really taking note. Once they get back he heads upstairs he really wants a cup of coffee.

“I’ll start on dinner” Bobby shouts as he arrives up the stairs.

“Eddie want to help?” Bobby asks.

“Yeah, give me five minutes just want relax.” Eddie says.

“That’s fine.” Bobby says.

Eddie sits on the sofa and pulls his phone out, he sees a message of Buck, he opens it and it is a video of Buck stood behind Chris.

“Eddie, I’m sorry to say but your son is like the child of the exorcist.” Buck says and right on queue Chris starts throwing up again, “At least his head isn’t spinning round yet, hope your day is going ok? See you later.” Buck says as the video finishes and Eddie lets out a laugh.

“What’s funny?” Bobby asks.

“Just a video Buck sent.” Eddie says as he gets up and heads towards Bobby, trying not to show his groin his hurting, he knows if Bobby sees he will be sent home.

“Here you watch it as I cut these for you.” Eddie says as he passes the phone over.

Eddie starts cutting the veg, he can hear Bucks sweet voice again in the video and Bobby lets out a laugh as it finishes.

“Looks like you got the easy job I’d say.” Bobby says handing the phone back.

“I think I did, but I’ll have it later.” Eddie says.

He passes the vegetables he has cut to Bobby and watches as Bobby cooks, he then see’s Jones and Marks walking up the stairs and Jones just stares at him, Eddie didn’t like the way he was staring at him but he couldn’t be arsed saying anything and watches they head to the sofa and Eddie turns to help Bobby with the food. Eventually, the food is ready and they all sit at the table eating and Eddie looks up and Jones is just staring at him, Eddie holds back and continues to eat once he’s finished he heads to the sink to place his plate in the sink and he turns and Jones is still staring.

“What’s your fucking problem?” Eddie snaps.

“You are, there no need for the attitude you gave me earlier!” Jones snaps back.

“No need? I told you what equipment to bring and you didn’t bring it, I then had to go get it, we then find out one of the victims is bleeding out and we had waste time because you didn’t do as I said!” Eddie snaps.

“I said I was sorry! And I would go get it, but no you shot me down in front of everyone and got it yourself.” Jones now standing and walking over towards Eddie.

Eddie could feel his anger building and starts to clench his fists, he knew if Jones got to close he might end up doing something, so he moves round the island keeping a distance.

“Well would you have been sorry if the person had died because that is what could have happened. You know the job is time sensitive, so you always double check everything!” Eddie snaps and slams his fist on the island.

“That’s enough! Diaz my office now, Jones you stay up here.” Bobby shouts.

“What! why do I have to go to the office he started it.” Eddie snarls.

“NOW!” Bobby shouts.

Eddie starts walking down the stairs and as he walks past the truck he slams his fist into the side of the truck, luckily he hadn’t hurt his hand and you couldn’t see the mark his fist left on the truck.

“So, who pissed you off?” Chim asked.

“What are you doing here?” Eddie questioned.

“I’m doing the afternoon shift; hope you aren’t in that kind of mood till you finish.” Chim joked.

Eddie did not reply he just pushed pass Chim and went and sat in Bobby’s office waiting for what is most likely a right bollocking, he wasn’t in the mood for this. As he sat there he looked at his watch and took note that it had been five minutes and his temper was calming maybe that’s why Bobby sent him to his office that or Chim was explaining what he saw.

“Oh great.” Eddie said out loud.

Luckily, the alarm went, and he ran out the office and headed to the truck as he got close, he saw Bobby and the rest walking down the stairs and he instantly saw Jones smirking at him.

“Right Jones you’re in the ambulance with Chim, Diaz in the truck with me” Bobby explained.

The ride to the call was quiet no one really spoke, just Bobby giving Marks directions to where they were going, McKay was in the back with Eddie and kept looking over but didn’t talk, she most likely was scared of how he might snap at her to, he shook his head. Maybe these few days off might be what he really needs. I mean if Buck was there he wouldn’t have to be stressed about as Buck helped him so much with the house and Chris would be happy with Buck was staying. Plus, he could make sure if Buck had any nightmares he was there for him.

He felt the truck come to a halt he was so deep in thought he hadn’t seen they had arrived; he got his coat on and got out the truck, it was an apartment fire.

“This is Bucks apartment block.” Eddie says.

“Well I’m guessing you weren’t listening I said this to you in the truck, so I’m guessing you didn’t call Buck either, can you call him you know he will worry.” Bobby explains.

“Yeah, sure.” Eddie says.

 _‘How stupid not paying attention’_ he thinks to himself as he hits his forehead with his hand.

He dials Buck.

“Hey Eddie, I already know.” Buck says.

“What, how do you?” Eddie asks.

“I do actually talk to my neighbours there out and safe, they already explained it’s the levels above us, just be safe I don’t care what happens to the apartment block just you be careful.” Buck says.

“I will do, I’ll see you later.” Eddie says and hangs up.

“How he take it?” McKay asks.

“He already knew, he said to be safe and he doesn’t care about the apartment just wants us be safe.” Eddie chuckled.

“That sounds like Buck.” Bobby laughed.

“Right, from what I’ve been told everyone on the lower levels have been evacuated we need access to the level with the fire, Eddie and Marks I want you to go in, access the fire hose on the level and check door to door, McKay and Jones you will be working the level lower again access the hose and door to door check ok?” Bobby shouts out.

“Yes cap.” They all shout.

They head in as it goes quick as they check the rooms no one is in, but the fire keeps spreading quicker than they can tackle so end up walking down the levels double checking rooms as they see jets of water hit from outside. Eddie and Marks are now on Bucks apartment level the fire hadn’t spread down to this level yet and Eddie breathed a sigh of relief he didn’t want explain to Buck he had lost his home, as they walked down the corridor McKay can be heard on the radio.

“Jones, where are you?” She says.

“What you mean where is he, he’s meant to be with you.” Eddie responds.

“We were walking down to go to the level below you but when I looked behind he had disappeared.” She replies back.

“JONES! Do you copy?” Bobby calls

Still no answer, Eddie signals to Marks to keep going they needed to clear the level as they got close to Bucks apartment he sees the door open. It looks to have been forced open, which is weird he pushes it open and see’s Jones.

“What are you doing in here?” Eddie quizzes feeling rage build.

“Nothing I saw the door open so came to look.” Jones replies.

“You are meant be on the level below,” Eddie says, “Cap found Jones, he’s in Bucks apartment and the door has been forced open.” Eddie calls down the radio.

“What the hell is he doing in there? Jones, I want you outside now McKay leave too.” Bobby calls over the radio.

“Yes cap,” McKay calls, Jones does not. He just walks off laughing like a nut job.

As Eddie and Marks walk down the corridor checking the rest of the rooms, there’s and explosion from behind them which comes from Bucks knocking both Eddie and Marks over.

“Diaz, Marks come in what was that.” Bobby calls out.

“There was an explosion from Bucks apartment cap.” Marks calls out.

“What you mean an explosion?” Bobby asks.

“Don’t know Cap/” Eddie says getting up and he clenches his fists he knows Jones had done it, but why?

“Eddie, you need to calm down, we need check the rest of the rooms, we can have it out later.” Marks says.

Eddie nods and they quickly check the rooms and the levels below luckily no one is there, they head out and as soon as they hit daylight Eddie chucks his helmet and coat on the floor and starts hunting for Jones but can’t see him, he sees McKay sat down.

“You ok?” He asks.

“Yeah, no thanks to Jones, can’t believe he left me.” McKay says.

“Where is he?” Eddie snarls.

“Eddie, this way cap is dealing with him” Chim says grabbing Eddie by the shoulder.

“No, I want answers!” Eddie says and brushes off Chim’s hold.

He starts marching towards the truck where he can see Bobby and Bobby cbocks him and shakes his head, but Eddie ignores him he does not care if he gets a warning or sacked Jones needs to pay as he gets closer he gets stopped by Athena.

“Where do you think you are going?” She says.

“You know where, that bastard needs to give me answers.” Eddie says.

“Its fine we are dealing with it, best thing you can do is go get that looked at.” Athena says pointing to Eddies forehead.

“What?” Eddie says but wipes his hand and the pain hits him as he grazes the cut “Ok, but I need answers so I can explain to Buck he is now homeless.” Eddie says.

“Oh that boy won’t be homeless, we all have spare rooms to put him up till he finds somewhere” Athena says and starts marching him over to Chim.

“You know, I am always amazed by you. Taming a lion on a blood frenzy to a purring cat that’s only waiting for its next treat.” Chim chuckles.

“That I did, now Eddie I know you will be mad, but I need you to stay here. If you move I will cuff you to the bed.” Athena laughs and Chim burst out laughing.

“There, you heard her.” Chim says as he starts cleaning up the wound.

Eddie just huffs and sits and watches from the ambulance as Jones is taken away in the back of Athena car, he sees Bobby walking over to him shaking his head.

“Eddie before you start, they have taken him for questioning, but we have no evidence, did you see anything? Marks says you walked in and just saw him, but nothing suspect expect for the fact he was in the apartment when he should have been with McKay.” Bobby says.

“No, I just saw him in the apartment can’t recall if I saw anything.” Eddie says and thinks shit he is going get away with it how could Eddie not make sure all was ok.

“Well, it’s a good thing you kept checking if you were still there you and Marks would have been caught in the explosion...” Bobby says, and Eddie had not thought about that.

“Anyway, we need get back, I have asked for a relief team come cover the rest of everyone’s shifts, I’ll come with you Eddie to explain to Buck what has happened.” Bobby explains.

“Ok cap.” Eddie nods.

Eddie jumps in the ambulance with Chim, he did not feel like sitting in the fire truck, as he sat there watching the streets go by.

“Don’t worry, Maddie will take him in, he will be fine, at least he wasn’t in there.” Chim says.

“Yeah, I’m glad Chris was sick, God that makes me sound like a crap person doesn’t it?” Eddie says.

“No, I completely understand, if it wasn’t for that Buck would have been there playing the hero like he always does.” Chim chuckles.

“Yeah, he can stay at mine anyway, I mean he’s currently staying in the spare room this weekend to make sure I ‘rest’ as he puts it.” Eddie laughs making air quotes on the word rest.

“No offence, but he’s right you need it. You look like shit Eddie, we have all noticed you have been working none stop, Buck even asked if we could cover your shifts to give you the time off.” Chim admits.

“He did what? Why?” Eddie asks looking at Chim confused.

“Eddie, we’re family we look out for each other, plus I think he just wants to get in your goodbooks more” Chim gives him a sly look.

“What-“Eddie is cut off as his phone rings.

“It’s like he knows we are talking about him.” Chim laughs as Eddie answers.

“Hey Buck,” Eddie says trying not look at Chim, and puts the phone on loudspeaker.

“Hey Buckaroo.” Chim shouts.

“Hey Chim, so I see my place went up with a bang, care to explain why?” Buck asks and Eddie looks at Chim.

“We need discuss that later, but yeah sorry.” Eddie says.

“I don’t care about that! The report on TV, said there were firefighters on the level, who was it are they ok?” Buck says sounding panicky.

“Okay first how did the media get the report this quickly, and secondly it was Eddie and Marks. Don’t worry they got knocked over as they weren’t near the room, Marks is fine by the way, but Eddie has a booboo on his head you can kiss it better later.” Chim jokes and Eddie just glares at him.

Chim holds his fingers up and counts down from three and mouths concussion to Eddie.

“Omg, Eddie are you ok? Chim did you check for concussion.” Buck asks but is met with laughter from both Eddie and Chim.

“I’m fine Buck, Chim knew you would ask that, look we’re getting to the station I’ll be home soon we finished early.” Eddie explains.

“Ok, see you soon.” Buck says as he hangs up.

“Aww no I love you.” Chim jokes and Eddie pushes his shoulder.

“We aren’t together we’re just friends.” Eddie says.

“And you know what the river in Egypt is called don’t you.” Chim asks.

“The Nile.” Eddie says.

“Exactly.” Chim laughs as he gets out the ambulance.

Eddie sits there and finally realises what he just said.

“Chim you bastard!” Eddie says.

Eddie claims out and as he does he can feel his groin hurt but he has no time to think about it as Bobby walks over to him.

“Come on get changed and I’ll follow you to yours.” Bobby says.

“He knows by the way, he called he saw a report of TV.” Eddie says.

“Did you say anything about Jones?” Bobby asked.

Eddie shook his head.

“Ok, let’s get changed and go.” Bobby says.

Eddie heads to the lockers and gets in the shower quickly showers and changed as he does Bobby is also changed and waiting. They then head to their own vehicles and Eddie drives off and see’s Bobby follow him. During the drive back he didn’t know what he was going say to Buck, it was getting to 4pm already and the day had gone from bad to worse to hell. He finally arrived back at his but waited for Bobby to pull up before he got out. As they headed towards the door Buck stood there, the first thing he did was grab hold of Eddie and hug him tight and then he hugged Bobby.

“I’m glad your both ok.” Buck says as they head in.

“Yeah, sorry about your place kid.” Bobby says.

“It’s ok, its only stuff, it can be replaced though I may need to crash at peoples till I get a place.” Buck laughs

“Well, you’re more than welcome to sat at ours Buck.” Bobby says.

“It’s ok Bobby he can stay with me and Chris, I mean I have the spare room which, Buck you are already staying in this weekend just make it longer.” Eddie says and see’s Bucks face light up.

“Yay!” Chris shouts form the sofa.

“Oh, I see your awake.” Eddie says as he walks over and gives him a hug “Me and Bobby got to talk about adult things so we will be in the backyard shout if you need us.” Eddie says.

“Ok.” Chris say.

They head out and Eddie notices the look of confusion on Bucks face.

“So, what’s the deal?” Buck says.

“Well,” Eddie starts but Bobby holds his hand up.

“We are not sure Buck; your level wasn’t even on fire, but Eddie and Marks found Jones in your apartment the door showing signs of forced entry. Jones came down and Eddie and Marks continued checking the room and then the explosion as soon as it happened I had Jones pinned as he laughed. He hasn’t admitted to doing it, but it looks like he is responsible for your apartment exploding. But as of now we do not know why, he just used the fire there as an excuse.” Bobby explains.

“What, what have I even done to him?” Buck asks Eddie see’s tears forming.

“Hey, we will get to the bottom of it, main thing is you’re ok, we may need go get you some more clothes and stuff, but the main thing is were all ok.” Eddie says while holding Buck upright.

“Yeah… I guess you’re right.” Buck says shaking his head.

“Right I’ll be off but when I have any information I’ll be in touch, ok?” Bobby says.

“Thanks Bobby.” Buck says.

Eddie follows Buck and Bobby as they say their goodbyes and watch him drive off once he’s gone and the door is closed Buck grabs hold of Eddie and holds him in a hug. He can feel the sob starting.

“It’s ok Buck.” Eddie says while he rubs his back.

“It’s not! You could have been killed and why? I don’t know why he would hate me so much.” Buck replies in between sobs.

“I don’t know, but I had a run in with him on the first call.” Eddie says.

“What, why?” Bucks asks.

The sound of sick hitting the bowl fills the air and they both shake their heads with a smile.

“Dad!” Chris shouts.

Eddie heads in and starts clearing up, and as he turns Buck is stood there with a new bowl and takes the filled one back to the kitchen.

“Hey, I’m going head to Maddie’s, see what stuff she has of mine. Will be ok for a few hours?” Bucks asks wiping his eyes.

“Yeah, to be honest I’ll take this one to my bed and I’ll get a few hours with him.” Eddie says.

Buck nods and heads out, as Eddie hears Bucks jeep leaving he turns to Chris and picks him up and starts walking down the hall. He stops when his groin hurts more and more worryingly a sharp pain coming from one of his balls.

“Dad you ok?” Chis says, and it shakes Eddie out his thoughts.

“Yeah, mijo, just hurt my leg at work.” Eddie says as they get to his room.

He sets Chris down and quickly walks in the bathroom and strips down he needs check and just as he starts running a finger he heard Chris throw up again.

“Dad, it happened again!” Chris shouts.

Eddie quickly chucks his shirt and PJ bottoms on and heads back into the bedroom he wipes Chris face and goes to the bathroom and quickly rinses the bowl and walks back in to give it Chris who is now asleep. Eddie places the bowl next to him and lays down next to him and nods off himself as the tiredness hits him hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments love reading what you all think  
> Find me on tumblr @afstory1988


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Yeah…” Eddie says as he pulls up the joggers and opens the door to see Buck stood there.  
> “You sure you’re ok? You look tired still.” Buck questions.  
> “Yeah, I’m fine let’s go watch some TV and maybe order pizza.” Eddie says.  
> “Yeah, that’s fine.” Buck says smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the next chapter

Eddie wakes to the sound of the door closing, he looks up into the dark room barely lit by the clock and see’s the clock say its 11:05pm. He looks at Chris who is out cold wrapped in Eddies duvet, he is about get up when he hears Bucks voice carry down the hall.

“Eds, you awake?” Buck says.

Eddie does not answer he is still tired so closes his eyes, he wants to talk to Buck but did not fancy staying up the next few hours as he knew Buck would be wanting discus every little detail from today’s revelations. So, he slightly moved so his face was tucked slightly under the duvet in case he broke and smiled, he stayed silent and still as the door opened.

“Eddie you awake?” Buck whispers.

Eddie fought his natural instinct to move and waited till he heard Bucks sigh, he heard what sounded like the door open more and the sound of footsteps treading softly across the hard floor, he kept still as he heard Buck round the side Chris was sleeping in.

“Night superman hope you feel better in the morning…” Buck says, and the sound of a kiss could be heard and Eddie mentally smiled.

He listened as Buck started to head out hoping he now could rest once Buck left, but to his shock he heard Buck come up behind him, he fought the urge to move as he felt Bucks lips press against the side of his temple.

“Eddie, I don’t know what’s up, but I promise I’m here.” Buck says and then Eddie listens as the door closes and can hear Buck go into his room, Eddie sits up and rubs where Buck kissed him and smiles.

 _‘Why did he kiss me, what does he think is wrong?_ ’ Eddie thinks.

He lays back down as the tiredness is hitting him again, but he smiled as he thought about Bucks lips on his head. Oh, how he wished it were against his lips and that Buck was staying in his bed, he eventually nodded off and managed to fall into a deep sleep.

As Eddie woke his first thought was the pain down below, but as he sat up and looked to where Chris was he was gone and the bowl too. He was about to get out of the bed when he heard voices coming down the hall.

“Shh you will wake him,” Chris can be heard saying.

“Ok, but you need whisper quitter.” Buck says.

Eddie shakes his head and sits up smiling as the door opens and Chris and Buck are stood there, Buck holding a tray.

“Awww, dad you should be asleep still. We were going surprise you” Chris says clearly disappointed.

“You still surprised me; I was about get up what you got there for me.” Eddie asks smiling.

“Breakfast in bed, this one here is feeling loads better and he wanted cook you something as he knows your tired.” Buck says giving Eddie the I told you so look.

“Well thank you, and what do I have to eat for breakfast?” Eddie asks.

“Pancakes!” Chris says cheerily.

“Yeah, this one has had three already, so he is definitely better now.” Buck chuckles as he places the tray down on Eddies lap.

Eddie looked down at the tray it had 4 pancakes covered in syrup and a cup of coffee. He looked up and smiled at the boys and then slowly started eating, he wasn’t particularly feeling hungry, but he forced the food down as Buck and Chris sat there talking about some random subject. Eddie didn’t listen in; he just took in the sight in front of him and smiled again as he drunk his coffee. The smile of his son accompanied by the smile of one Evan Buckley.

“So, superman do you and your dad fancy a trip out to the shops in a bit?” Buck asks.

“Ah, some new things I’m guessing?, But it sure would be good to get him out in the fresh air.” Eddie says smiling.

“Yeah, what do we need?” Chris asked.

“Well, you know how I explained I was staying a bit longer?” Buck says looking at Eddie with the big sorry eyes and Eddie just nodded.

 _‘At least I do not get to explain that but will have cover to the reason why, but then I am meant to be the man of the house and he is my son I should have done it. Just another thing I failed at._ ’ Eddie thinks to himself.

“Because the bad man exploded your apartment?” Chris asks, and Buck looked at Eddie shocked.

“Well yeah, but I would have had to stay because of the fire anyway. How do you know about the bad man?” Buck questions.

“I’m sorry, I kind of listened in. I snook to the kitchen window and I heard.” Chris says looking down

“Christopher I have told you about eavesdropping, you were told that was an adult conversation.” Eddie says with an angry tone.

“It’s ok superman jus…” Buck starts.

“No Buck! It is not ok. Christopher go to your room and I’ll speak to you about this later understand?” Eddie snaps.

Chris nods and gets up and heads out the room, Buck looks at Eddie in shock as the door can be heard been shut down the hall and crying starting.

“Was there any need for that Eddie? He apologised.” Buck says staring at Eddie.

“Buck, he is my kid. He needs to learn he cannot do anything and get away with it. I hope you can understand that.” Eddie says.

“Well, someone is obviously still in a grump ass mood. I hope you lose the attitude or don’t bother coming with us later to the shops.” Buck says as he gets up and storms out slamming Eddies door.

Eddie just rolled his eyes and let out a sigh he really could not be arse with two whinny people. He moved the tray to the bedside table and placed his cup on it and rolled over to go back sleep for a bit he just needed some more rest.

He does not know how long he had slept again as he is awoken by a hand on his arm. He rolls and see’s Bucks big blue eyes looking at him, but no smile, Eddie frowns at him.

“What’s up?” Eddie asks.

“Well, I’m getting ready go the shops, Chris is ready, do you want come or stay in the grumpy pit?” Buck asks.

“Buck, look I am sorry for how I reacted earlier, but he needs to learn he can’t go against things when I say no.” Eddie says sitting up and pulling Bucks arm to make him sit.

“I know Eddie, but you do know there is a way to say it that doesn’t cause so much upset. You know, saying it in a calm way would have worked and no crying would have happened.” Buck says giving Eddie that trademark smile.

“God, I hate when your right” Eddie rolls his eyes.

“We will get you there eventually, just use the head before you open the mouth, ok? Now get dressed we leave in five minutes no excuses, understand?” Buck says as he gets up and picks up the tray from the side.

“Now who’s being strict?” Eddie jokes.

“Well someone has to keep you in check don’t they? Plus, it seems it’s the only thing you listen to.” Buck jokes, “Now five minutes or I call Abuela.” Buck says as he closes the door.

“Don’t you dare Evan!” Eddie calls and laughs.

He forgot how easy it was to have Buck here with him, life seemed to fall in to place and work so well with him there. Eddie knew though something would come and stop them being together which is why he never told Buck how he feels. The fear of opening himself up terrified him as it would mean showing feelings. Feelings that he was taught to bottle them up and never put himself first which is exactly what he would be doing if he told Buck.

“I don’t hear moving, three minutes Diaz!” Buck shouts and shakes Eddie out his train of thought.

He quickly gets up feeling the pulse of pain shoot down below, he grins and bears it as he needs to get ready. He knows he should shower but under the strict time Buck has given him he quickly changes into a shirt and jeans and sprays loads of deodorant and heads out his room towards the living room where both Chris and Buck are sat waiting.

“Well you still have a minute left, but I don’t see shoes do you Chris?” Buck says.

“Nope.” Chris chuckles to Buck then stops when he looks at Eddie.

Eddie quickly turns and feels the hurt in his heart he caused Chris, he quickly slips some trainers and nips in the kitchen to grab some pain killers.

“Still hurting you?” Buck questions as he walks into the kitchen.

“Yeah it is, I will be fine now. I have these few days to rest.” Eddie says smiling trying to hide the pain.

“Well if it isn’t better, I’ll drag you to that doctors you understand?” Buck jokes.

“I do, can you go start the car, I will speak to Chris.” Eddie says.

“Are you going shout again?” Buck questions concern drawn in his face.

“No, I promise.” Eddie says.

“Ok then.” Buck says.

Eddie heads into the living room and sits next to Chris as Buck walks past and opens the door, Eddie counts to five giving Buck enough time get to his car he looks at Chris who is looking at him all sad.

“Now Chris, I am sorry I shouted at you earlier. But it was because I was angry, but you did apologise, and I am proud that you did that. Still, you must understand that when I say something you must do it. You are a Diaz man and we follow the rules and do as are told. We have to put our family first and our needs last, do you understand?” Eddie says.

“I do dad, I am sorry. I won’t do it again.” Chris says

“I know mate, come here.” Eddie says.

He pulls Chris into a hug and ruffles his hair and kisses him on the forehead.

“Now how about we go help Buck pick some clothes? And talk him in to buying something silly?” Eddie jokes.

“Dad, we can’t do that to Buck.” Chris laughs.

“Why not? Be funny wouldn’t it” Eddie says.

“Maybe, love you dad.” Chris says hugging tighter.

“Love you too mijo.” Eddie says.

Eddie stands up and bends down to pick Chris up, not letting him see he is in pain and walks to the door and locks it. As he gets to Bucks jeep he notices that the jeep is not turned on and Buck is just there staring at him.

“What’s up? Thought you would have the engine on.” Eddie questions as he loads Chris into his seat.

“I was not going waste fuel; I didn’t know how long you were going be.” Buck said but in a weird tone.

“Ok, well we’re all sorted aren’t we bud?” Eddie says.

“Yeah we are, we’re going enjoy helping you shop.” Chris says giving his dad a wink.

“Oh, good we have lots to buy.” Buck says as he turns the engine on.

Eddie climbs in the front gingerly as his leg hurt as he climbed up, and once the door was shut and belt on Buck started driving. Buck did not talk much along the drive and Eddie noticed he just kept quiet and only answered when Chris asked something directly. By the time they got to the mall Eddie was not happy, Buck was all happy when they left, what changed? As they got out the jeep and Buck walked round to help Eddie, Eddie stopped Buck before opening the door.

“You ok? You were incredibly quiet on the way here.” Eddie questioned.

“Yeah, I am simply fine. But you know we can’t bottle up everything we feel you know…” Buck says and opens the door making Eddie move.

Eddie stood there wondering where that had come from, but before he could think about it he was handed Chris crutches and Chris was in front of him.

“Do you want walk or one of us carry you?” Eddie asks.

“Can you carry me for a bit?” Chris asks looking at Eddie.

“Of course, come on, so where we off first?” Eddie asks looking at Buck.

“Well was thinking some clothes shop and then the ice cream place.” Buck said giving Chris a big grin but then a stern look at Eddie.

As they walked to the first shop Eddie was thinking about what Buck had said and was trying to figure out what he was on about. It then hit him like a freight train. Had Buck heard what he had said to Chris? He knew Buck was the heart on the sleeve kind of guy and that is what Eddie loved about Buck. If Buck heard that it would explain the answer he gave him and his turn off attitude in such a short period.

As they entered the first shop, Eddie needed to question Buck who had disappeared into the corner looking at jumpers, he placed Chris near the aisle.

“Now stay here. I just need to speak to Buck, look at them shirts and find a silly one for him ok?” Eddie says.

“Ok dad just don’t be long it smells funny in here…” Chris says and Eddie chuckles.

Eddie wanders down the aisle and see’s Buck who stares at him and turns round so his back is facing him.

“I am guessing I need to have a word with you too about eavesdropping then?” Eddie says not knowing how to really start the conversation or how Buck would react.

“I didn’t mean to but I’m glad I did. I was hoping you might let it slip on what is up with you but was not expecting that. Do you really think that’s how you should be?” Buck says as he turns round.

Eddie stood there rubbing his neck, he did not know how to answer, and it was not really the place to have this conversation.

“Look, I can see you are uncomfortable about talking now, so promise me when we get home we can speak.” Buck says.

“Fine…” Eddie says letting out a sigh.

“Okay so now… Blue or green” Buck says holding up two jumpers.

“Blue, differently blue.” Eddie says as he turns and heads to Chris.

Eddie spots Chris who is holding a bright yellow shirt with a pug on the front and Eddie started laughing. He made sure it was the right size and they went and paid for it and placed it in a bag as they stood outside waiting for Buck. While they stood waiting they watched people go by and eventually Buck appeared with several bags on hand. They made their way round to other shops and finally made it to the food court where they sat to have food and Eddie took some more pills then eventually ice cream. As all three sat there eating their food Buck nodded to Eddie to note someone was behind him.

“Oh, hi Ana…” Eddie says getting up rubbing his leg and moving over to her and away from Chris and Buck.

“Hey, are you ok there? You look tired.” she says.

“Yeah, hurt my leg on a call and just been busy as doing extra shifts and then that one decided be sick.” He explains pointing at Chris.

“Yeah I heard, but glad to see he is doing better and will be back on Monday.” She says smiling.

“Yeah, will make life a bit easier.” Eddie chuckled.

“I bet, so I was wondering if you were free one-day next week?” Ana asks.

“Erm don’t know, why?” Eddie asks.

“Well was wondering if you wanted go for a drink.” She says smiling.

Eddie was taken aback by this. He guessed that she was just inviting him to drink as friends. But there was something about the way how she said it that made Eddie think twice. Then it hit him.

“Oh, like a date?” Eddie questions.

“Yeah, if that’s ok.” Ana says.

 _‘Well, shit.’_ Eddie thought.

He had to admit it. She was hot. Hazel eye’s like his, lush lips, round… Before he could think any more he dragged his thoughts out of there.

 _‘What are you thinking! She’s a fine woman and deserves to be respected!’_ Eddie screamed at his thoughts. She is beautiful and Eddie knew it. But he also knew that if he were to jump on this opportunity there might be a chance that… that he would forget his feelings for Buck. But that would not be fair to Anna also...

_‘FUCK!’_

“Eddie? Are you really okay?” It was Anna. Looking at Eddie concerned.

He had an out on this. But why can’t he help but feel this way? He looked at Buck who was licking his ice cream, and even if it was just a moment he caught Buck stealing glances in their way. He was looking.

It had been about two years since they have met and got off on the wrong foot, but in the end they ended up as best friends. As that is the truth he knew that if he were to say that he loved him, he could destroy their friendship.

“Sorry, I am sort of… Well hoping I’ll have a date with someone else sooner than later…” Eddie says going red. Even with the fact that Eddie really loves Buck, there was Chris. He did not want to confuse the kid even more by adding another mother figure that could go at any time because of Eddie’s indecisiveness. He loved Buck, and that was the chilling truth he had to bottle up.

“Oh, I’m sorry I just thought, you know what never mind… I’ll see you around, sorry again.” Ana says bright red and Eddie watches as she walks off.

Eddie turns and walks back over to Buck and Chris and sees Buck smirking at him.

“What?” Eddie says.

“So, looks like someone blew it.” Buck says as he takes a lick of his ice cream.

 _‘Well for your information, I turned her down because someone is so oblivious about something so deal with it!’_ Is what he wanted to say but…

“Well for your information I didn’t, she asked, and I turned her down.” Eddie says smiling.

“What? Why would you do that? I thought you liked her.” Buck says.

“He likes someone else that’s why.” Chris pipes up and Eddie and Buck both look at him.

“I didn’t eavesdrop before you shout I can tell, and I explained to Carla what I saw, and she agrees so…” Chris explains.

“Superman you got to tell me, I need the information.” Buck says grinning.

“Sorry, I promised Carla I wouldn’t say.” Chris explains.

“Well that’s just rude, come on Eddie tell me.” Buck says.

“Nope, I’m not sure myself who he is on about.” Eddie chuckles.

“How many you got on the go Diaz? Well if either of you won’t tell I’ll just ring Carla.” Buck says as he jumps up and walks off before Eddie can say or do anything.

“She won’t say its him don’t worry dad.” Chris says licking his ice cream.

“What?” Eddie says nearly letting his ice cream fall.

“Dad, I see the way you are around him; you smile more, and you look at him like Homer looks at donuts… So, I asked Carla and she agrees but I will not say anything to him, and neither will she. But she did say this: ‘I’ll leave those two loved up idiots to figure it out.’” Chris chuckles.

“Well, first thank you, and I think I need have a serious word to her about calling me and idiot.” Eddie chuckles.

_‘Really? Even my son knows and Carla too? Ugh, welp I screwed up keeping this quiet. What else? Buck also secretly knows?’_

“Well, she won’t dish the dirt.” Buck says as he walks over.

“Well what did you think would happen you know you can’t break her.” Eddie chuckles but then yawns.

“True but worth a go, anyway, lets head back. I think someone needs some more sleep.” Buck says looking at Eddie.

“I am fine, honest.” Eddie says.

“Yeah and I’m naturally dark haired.” Buck says laughing.

They laugh and head back to the jeep, the ride back was filled with Chris and Buck singing, Eddie somehow manged to fall asleep only to be woke as the pulled up. They entered the house and Eddie sat on the sofa and could feel himself nodding off.

“Hey, why don’t you get a nap, we can speak later.” Buck says gesturing to Eddie to head to bed.

“Yeah I’ll get a nap thanks.” Eddie says and slowly limps to the room where he lays down and falls asleep quite quick.

When he wakes he can hear the sound of the TV and Chris and Buck laughing. He rolls over and there is a glass of water and some pills and a note.

 _‘Take these and come join us’_ it read. Eddie smiles and takes the pill he then gets up and grabs a change of clothes and walk to the shower where he waits for the water to get warm and climbs in. He washes his body and once clean he starts checking again his heart racing as he runs his fingers over each ball until he stops and he feels the little lump on one, his heart pounds.

He lets go feeling like he might faint, he gets out and dries off and once dry he feels again, and he finds it straight away his heart is really racing.

“You all done in there?” Bucks voices comes through the door and Eddie jumps.

“Yeah…” Eddie says as he pulls up the joggers and opens the door to see Buck stood there.

“You sure you’re ok? You look tired still.” Buck questions.

“Yeah, I’m fine let’s go watch some TV and maybe order pizza.” Eddie says.

“Yeah, that’s fine.” Buck says smiling.

They walk down to the living room and Eddie sits at the edge of the sofa and watches whatever was on the TV. Eddie noticing Buck was busy on his phone and not watching he looked back at the TV, but he could not focus too much at it. His thoughts were going over the lump and what it could be and what it could mean. He could feel the panic setting in, but he knew he could not, cannot break. Not in front of the two most important people in his life, so he pushed it down and turned to Buck.

“What shall we order then?” Eddie questions.

“The normal, can’t go wrong with it.” Buck says as he turns back to his phone.

Eddie gets up and heads to the kitchen and orders the food. He grabs two beers and a juice box and heads back to the living room he sits down handing the drinks and they watch the TV. However, he notices Buck is still on his phone, after a while there is a knock on the door, and he heads up and grabs the food then heads to the kitchen where Buck and Chris appear. They sit down and enjoy the food, Eddie knew eventually he would have speak to Buck, Buck never let anything die down that easily, but at the moment Buck was busy on his phone occasionally looking at Eddie and answering Chris questions. Once the food was done and the trash away Eddie grabbed two more beers.

“Hey buddy, do you want go get ready for bed?” Buck says to Chris and looks at Eddie, he did not dare say, no, he knew what was coming.

“Ok, can you read to me?” Chris asks.

“Go in, I’ll be there in ten minutes. Make sure you have the books ready.” Buck smiles.

They watch as Chris wanders off and as soon as the door closes Buck looks straight at Eddie and minutes pass and Buck taps his finger on the bottle.

“So, want to explain why you said that to Chris earlier?” Buck asks.

“Look Buck, it is hard to explain, but I’ll try. You know I struggle with words.” Eddie says.

“I know, but this is me and you know I won’t judge you. I’m here to help.” Buck replies setting down his bottle and crosses his arms.

“Well, when I was growing up I was always told by dad and grandad that as a Diaz man, I must provide and care for the people I love and care for, and that my needs must always be put to the bottom of the list as I need provide.” Eddie starts and he needs think about what to say next.

“Eddie, you know you don’t have do that. I understand that is how you were brought up, but you just see that is not healthy. I mean that’s what led you to bottling up everything and then look how it came out.” Buck starts sounding empathetic.

“I know the fighting thing wasn’t my best moment but speaking to Frank has helped me see that. Just old habits I guess. I try and let Chris do things and experience things I never did but it’s hard you know.” Eddie says and can feel the tears forming he didn’t want to seem weak so turned away.

“Don’t turn away to hide the tears Eddie. I don’t care if you cry in front of me, I wont think of you any less for doing that. I’m glad you try and let Chris do new things but you do realise you need explain to him what you said wasn’t at all correct. I know you want him to be strong but putting that kind of pressure in him won’t be good.” Buck says.

“I know and I will try, it is just so hard with me been a single dad.” Eddie says.

“I get that but you aren’t alone, look we will continue when I come back from reading Chris his book ok?” Buck explains.

“Ok.” Eddie says.

Buck wanders into the room and Eddie sits there drinking the beer quicker and grabs another one. His thoughts in his head again and the fear was setting in about what could happen.

**_‘You could end up leaving Chris here on his own and never get the chance to tell Buck how you really feel for him.’_ **

He walks into the living room and sits down trying to find something take his focus on. He places the beer down and starts channel hopping and after a few minutes he finds a movie, the thoughts start again he knows he should say something but the thoughts of what his dad says ring in his heads.

**_‘Put your needs last young man! You’re a Diaz after all!’_ **

“Anything good?” Buck asks.

“Nah, guessing he didn’t last long?” Eddie chuckles.

“Nope, tired him out, look Eddie you know I’m here for you know matter what.” Buck explains.

“Until you find someone, I saw you on your phone you haven’t put it down all night.” Eddie laughs.

“No, I was looking things up.” Buck said.

“Thought you only did that when you were bored or something important was happening?” Eddie questions.

“Yeah, well I had my suspicions but wasn’t sure so had to check. Eddie you know you can tell me anything, just like I can tell you anything and you shouldn’t let what your dad says about keeping stuff to yourself stop you for asking for help or talking.” Buck explains.

Eddie looks at him. He looks at his big blue eyes and he wants to admit his feelings for him. He wants to tell him how madly he is in love with him, how he wants to marry him and let him adopt Chris and maybe have more kids. He looks at Buck who has tilted his head at Eddie and looking directly at him Eddie thinks now is the time to come clean and tell him how much he loves him, so he opens his mouth.

“I found a lump on my testicle.” He says instead and covers his mouth with his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave comments
> 
> Find me on tumblr @afstory1988


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘They look so happy here…’  
> Buck takes a seat and after a while Abuela comes back.  
> “No, they have not heard off him and they called him but no answer, what’s going on?” She asks.  
> “I don’t know, I haven’t heard off him, do you have his sisters’ number I’ll call her.” Buck asks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the last update for this story for a while as i have started a new job so working extra so writing will have to take a break, but i promise i will be back with more soon

Eddie sits there utterly shocked that his mouth just let that slip out, he looks at Buck who obviously was not expecting that and the first thing Eddie can think is to backtrack quickly.

“I didn’t mean to say that! I was meant to say… something else! Just forget it ok? I should erm, I should head to bed. I’ll see you later bye Buck.” Eddie says as he quickly gets up.

“Eddie wait!” Buck says.

Eddie doesn’t stop and heads to his room and closes the door before falling on the bed. Even when he wants to try to be happy he can’t, and he knows how Buck will be. He will keep pushing and if he does, he thinks what to say. Should he tell Buck how much he loves him? Buck may only see him as a charity case now, as he lay there it felt like hours had passed but really only minutes and he hears a knock.

“Hey, Eddie can I come on please,” Buck says.

“No, just leave Buck please!” Eddie fights the sob back.

“Eddie i will not leave you, so we need to talk. I will sit outside your door if I have to all night.” Buck explains.

“Buck, I don’t want to talk about anything please just go,” Eddie says now sitting up.

There is no sound but then he hears his phone go off and fishes it out his pocket and looks at the screen it’s a message from Buck he opens it.

_‘Eddie this is what I was looking at, I had my suspicions before you let it slip, I’m sat by the door we don’t have to talk I just need to see you’re ok’_

Eddie looked at the photo and it was of Bucks google history for the night , it was about spotting signs of cancer and how to talk to someone about it. Eddie’s heart ached. Buck had been looking at helping him without him knowing, Eddie decided he needed to let Buck in he knew he couldn’t do this on his own so he replied back.

_‘I could really do with a hug right now’_

He hears Buck's phone go off and in seconds the door is open and Eddies see Buck standing there. He can see the tears that have fallen down Bucks face and he feels the dam in his eyes go and the next thing he knows is that Bucks arms are around him and holding him tight.

“It's ok Eddie I’m here,” Buck says.

Eddie just sobs into Bucks shirt, they stay like that for ages and Eddie feels himself nodding off. He didn’t want to move so just stayed there. The next time he wakes he feels a warmth under his head he slowly moves and sees Bucks face and he is asleep, Eddies head resting on his chest. He felt so happy but at the same time it was under the circumstances they hadn’t explained. Eddie knew everything would change and he needed to get away even for a few days, he decided he will sort it later but for now, he would sleep soundly with the fact that Buck was here.

The next morning he wakes he is alone in bed, but the sound of a shower can be heard. Eddie thinks Buck must be using it as he stayed over, Eddie rolled and finds his phone and looks up a website and books something he then quickly messages Bobby.

_‘Hey Bobby, my mum has had to have emergency surgery and my dad needs help to look after her, I know it’s short notice but is there any way I can take a week off from today? I know it's short but I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t an emergency.’_

Eddie felt so bad for doing this but he needed time away from everyone. He knew it would get too much and the last thing he wants to do is push people away with his moods. He knew a few days with Chris at there favorite lodge would help, he hears his phone go off.

_‘It is short notice, but you weren’t in today so that makes it a bit better, but I understand, it's fine, I will see you next week.’_

Eddie smiled now he just needed to get away without seeing Buck, he would write him a note but say he was at his parents. Just then Buck walks out all dressed but Eddie could see his curly wet hair.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” Buck asks.

“No, I was awake anyway.” Eddie says.

“That’s good, I got to go for my shift, can we talk later please? I know you are off and most likely will go over everything loads but let me help.” Buck asks.

“Yeah, maybe.” Eddie replies.

“Right, I will see you later.” Buck smiles and leaves, once Eddie hears Bucks jeep pulling off he gets up and limps around grabbing a bag and stuffing it with clothes, he moves to Chris’s room and gets a bag of clothes for him and wakes him up.

“Hey, come on we're going away for a few days,” Eddie says.

“Where to?” Chris asks sleepily.

“The lodge we love, I’ll ring school on way there, come on we leave in five minutes,” Eddie says and watches as Chris smiles.

He knew it was a rush but he knew the second Buck got there and Booby mentioned Eddie took a week off Buck would come flying back. He sat the bags by the door and quickly changed, he got a pen and paper and wrote a letter to Buck, he wanted to explain what he really wanted to say last night and why he was doing this hoping Buck would understand.

_‘Dear Evan,_

_I know you most likely are in full panic mode but do not be. I am fine and so is Chris, we are going to my parents just so I can get some breathing space. I understand you want to help but I need to sort my head around it. Last night I was not meant to say that, what I really wanted to tell you is that I love you. I am so madly in love with you and now I have let that slip about the lump. I don’t want to know your answer as I'm scared of the outcome, maybe you don’t want to be lumbered with a cancer patient or worse you say you love me back out of pity for me. But the worse one would be that you don’t love me at all, I know I don’t deserve your kindness in friendship but I had to tell you that I love you. I couldn’t hold it back anymore, I will be back I just hope you will be here when I do._

_Always yours_

_Edmundo’_

Eddie wipes his tears and folds the paper, he heads down the hall picking up the bags and placing the letter on the table, he sees Chris at the door waiting to go.

“All ready?” Eddie asks.

“Yeah.” he says.

Eddie opens the door and closes it locking it behind him , they go to his truck and get in and start driving Eddie didn’t know what the future held or what would happen when he got back, but he planned on making this week about making memory’s with his son.

**_ Buck twenty minutes after Eddie leaves _ **

Buck's drive to work was a blur. All he could think about was what Eddie had said to him and then how taken back at how Eddie broke down in his arms he had never seen Eddie like that. Yesterday he had high hopes that Eddie was making a move finally after months of Buck waiting but this was the last thing he expected. As he approached the firehouse he knew he had a long 12-hour shift in front him when all he wanted to do was talk to Eddie. He knew Eddie didn’t want to talk about it and Buck would accept that but, he would do his normal ramble about stuff and keep Eddie's mind off it, ever since he looked up the symptoms and watched Eddie as he ticked each one he didn’t want it to be that but now Eddie admitted to having a lump.

 _‘Did he say he went doctors to get it checked or not’_ Buck suddenly thinks to himself.

He shakes his head as he walks into the firehouse greeting people on autopilot, once changed he heads up and sees Bobby there waiting and didn’t look too happy, Buck takes a seat.

“Now everyone is here, I need to move rotas round and we will be having cover in from tomorrow, so we need to pull together,” Bobby says.

“Who are we covering?” Buck questions.

“Eddie,” Bobby continues to speak but Buck blanks him out, this thought goes back to Eddie, he was there when he left why would he need more time off?

“You must be mistaken cap, I was there this morning helping with Chris he never said anything.” Buck said knowing it was a lie about helping with Chris

“He text me this morning saying his mum has had emergency surgery and he needed to go help.” Bobby explains.

Buck felt a twinge in his chest he knew Eddie didn’t want to talk so would he really travel all that way just to get away from the problem? Buck wanted nothing more than to walk out and go find out what’s going on.

“Buck you ok?” Bobby asks.

“Err yeh sorry” Buck replied he looked around and saw Hen and Chim looking at him worriedly, “Just weirded out that Eddie never said anything especially when he would have sent that text when I was there.” Buck shrugs his shoulders and heads down.

Once in the locker room, he calls Eddie’s number and it goes straight to voicemail.

“Hey Eddie, I know full well your mum isn’t sick, please don’t say you are going because I found out, please call me.” Buck leaves as a voicemail.

“So, want to tell me what that was all about?” Bobby says and Buck turns.

_‘Oh shit’_

“It’s nothing Bobby I promise.” Buck says.

“Doesn’t sound like nothing and the fact you start by saying you know his mum isn’t sick says a lot…” Bobby says closing the locker door and Buck sees people watching outside “So spill.” Bobby asks.

“I can’t, I don’t even know where to start plus it's not my place, but trust me Bobby right now Eddie needs someone to be there for him.” Buck says.

“Buck, unless you say what’s going on I can’t help you with that” Bobby says.

 _‘I can’t tell him; Eddie will be mad’_ he thinks to himself.

“You know what cap? I most likely got my wires crossed I’ll call his Abulea later.” Buck says he prays for the alarm to go and just like that it does.

They spend the shift pretty much in and out nonstop never really getting a rest, but Buck loves it that way, at least he can’t be pestered to answer any questions Hen, Chim or Bobby would ask. As they finally pull in to the station Bobby stops him.

“I know you have the next three days off as you booked them off but is there any way you can move them at all?” Bobby asks and Buck had forgotten he had them booked off, he would normally do it but this was his chance get answers so there was no way he was doing it.

“Sorry Bobby, you know I would another time, but I have things panned,” Buck says.

“I know just thought I’d ask,” Bobby says and Buck heads into the locker and quickly changes and heads to his jeep.

Once in he drives to Eddies, he sees the car gone but heads in just in case. It was a good thing that he had a spare key to their house given by Eddie. A key to the man’s house…

As he heads inside he looks in Chris’s room and Eddie’s. It's clear that they left quickly, as Buck moves to the front room he clean’s it up and then moves into the kitchen where he sees a letter, he sits there and reads it. As he reads Eddie’s words he starts crying as he picks his phone up.

“Eddie, please call me when you get this, I need speak to you.” Buck leaves as a message he wanted to say that he loved Eddie too since the day after the bombing but had waited. Now he knew Eddie loved him but didn’t want Buck to love him out of pity. Buck was annoyed however because that wasn’t true. He would still love him even more so, cancer patient or not. He loves the man behind the tough firefighter, he loves the man that would fight through hell and back to get back to his son, he loves that man. He cleaned up the kitchen and left locking the door his next stop was Abuela.

The trip there was filled with plain silence as Buck’s mind is flodded by toxic thoughts. He tried to push it down as he nears Abuela’s house. He knew it all to well by now from picking up Christopher to him and Eddie visiting.

“Buck? Eddie isn’t here.” She says as she saw him.

“I Know, do you have his parents’ number? He said he was going to see them.” Buck asks.

“He wouldn’t just go see them, but let me go ring them go take a seat.” She says as she ushers him inside. There he saw picture of old, from Abuela’s younger years to her older years. But there was one picture that was framed and placed atop a bookshelf. Eddie and Chistopher’s picture.

_‘They look so happy here…’_

Buck takes a seat and after a while Abuela comes back.

“No, they have not heard off him and they called him but no answer, what’s going on?” She asks.

“I don’t know, I haven’t heard off him, do you have his sisters’ number I’ll call her.” Buck asks.

Abuela nods and gives him Sophia’s number Buck thanks her and leaves, as he gets in the jeep he heads home he would get a quick sleep and talk to Sophia and go from there.

**_ Eddie a few hours later _ **

Eddie starts to yawn from the long drive he has had but he is happy to see the lodge in front of him. The drive had been fairly easy and the school didn’t question much when Eddie had explained Chris was no better still. He gets out and opens it and turns the light on, he then goes to get Chris who has fallen asleep in the back. He gently carries him through the door and to his bed and tucks him in, he fetches all the other stuff and goes in to the lodge. Once in he settles down in front of the fireplace and looks at his phone, he turns it on and once loaded it pinged to say he had messages. There was voicemails so he listened to them and started crying the second he heard Bucks voice. He listened to the one of his parents confused to why Buck thought he was with them, Eddie shook his head and turned off the phone and heads to bed.

Throughout the night he couldn’t quell the rising feeling of despair. The fact that he had a lump in his testicle, that he confessed his feelings for Buck, that he might die from this and leave Christopher alone. He was scared to death of what might happen.

The next day Eddie wakes and hears the sound of nature around him and he feels at ease, he hears Chris coming up the stairs.

“Dad, can I nap with you? Its too early.” Chris asks yawning.

“Of course, come on.” Eddie says as he lifts the covers up.

They spend another thirty minutes in bed before Chris decides its time for breakfast to which Eddie realises he did not pack food, he shakes his head.

“We will go to the diner and have breakfast, then we will go shopping ok?” Eddie says,

“Ok dad.” Chris replies.

“Ok, go get changed quickly for me.” Eddie says.

He watches as Chris disappears he gets himself up and quickly changes and heads down the stairs where Chris is sat waiting, Eddie laughed as Chris had not gotten changed.

“Chris I said go get changed you wore that yesterday.” Eddie says.

“I know but I may get food down me, I can change when we get back, I just want pancakes dad, please…” Chris says, and Eddie knows he is screwed.

“Fine, just this once.” He chuckles.

They leave and head to the diner, once in they enjoy a nice breakfast. It was the quieter season so not many people around, once food was eaten and paid for they went food shopping. Eddie and Chris spent the day stocking up on everything they would need for the week before heading back to the lodge where Eddie places the stuff away as Chris played on his tablet. They later went for a long walk and enjoyed the campfire outside the lodge, as it got late they headed back inside where they watched some TV, then the room lit up with headlights from a vehicle pulling up. Eddie jumped up as no one knew he was here expect the people he let it from, as he walked over to the window his heart sunk but filled with joy at the sight in front of him.

**_ Buck early in the day _ **

Buck has spent most of the morning sorting out a bag and some bits, he would find out where Eddie was no matter what. He had spent the whole night worrying about him, he knew he would be ok as he had Chris but a part of him still worried. Once his bag was packed he called Sophia.

“Hello?” She answered puzzled.

“Hey Sophia its Evan, Eddie’s friend from work. I know this is random but I’m hoping you can be able to help, Eddie told us he went to visit your parents which I know he hasn’t, and I know he needed to clear his head so do you know anywhere he could have gone to?” Buck asks.

“My mum rung me last night and asked the same I told her no but there is one place, it’s a lodge he rented after Shannon died he spent time with Chris there just them two. I can send you the address, is everything ok with him?” She asks.

“I think he just needs someone to talk to, so send it me and I’ll go to him and I’ll ring you once I speak to him.” Buck explains.

“That be great goodbye” She says.

“Bye” Buck replies and before he hangs up Sophia spoke again.  
“Oh and Evan…” There was silence before she spoke again, “Nevermind, just lucky that he has a friend like you.”

“Thank you.” Is all he said and hang up.

He grabs his bag and heads down to his jeep he chucks his bag in and waits for Sophia to text after ten minutes. He gets fidgety so he drives off heading to a local store to grab some bits for the journey where ever it went, as he left the shop he got the text with the address and when he put it in his sat nav it was a good long drive but he could make it just as it went dark.

As he drove through the hills and down the roads, he saw the miles drop he was getting closer he had tried to call but again straight to voicemail. He carried on driving wondering what he would say when he came face to face with Eddie, all he really wanted to do was hug him tight and tell him it will be alright but after reading the letter Buck thinks, what is the least awkward way not to make Eddie think bad.

Eventually he turns up at the lodge and pulls up next to Eddies truck, as he sits there he see’s Eddie stood at the window he couldn’t tell if he was mad or happy, he got out the car and walked towards the door as he does Eddie opens the door to.

“Buck what are you doing here?” Eddie asks.

Buck keeps walking towards him and once close enough pulls him in for a hug and eventually he feels Eddie hug him back.

“I don’t love you out of pity, I Love you as I’ve always loved you since the bombing and I’m here now.” Buck says and that’s all it takes for Eddie to break down in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again leave comments
> 
> find me on tumblr @afstory1988


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie stands there listening to Buck. He thinks about all the wasted time they have wasted away and what little time he could have left. Now he doesn’t want to wait any more and waste any more time.  
> ‘Tomorrow is never promised.’ his mind reacts to what he said to Chim.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi here is the next chapter, hope you enjoy, thanks to fallenexeed for looking at this before i posted it.
> 
> im taking a break till after christmas, so ill update in the new year

“Bucky, what are you doing here?” Chris’s voice comes from the living room which makes the men break their hug.

“Well, your dad told me about this amazing place, and I had a few days off, so why not spend it with you both here?” Buck says, smiling but noticing that Eddie hasn’t turned around yet.

“Yay!” Chris exclaims.

“Why don’t you pick something to watch? While your dad helps me with my bag in the car, ok?” Buck says.

“Ok. Oh and let’s build with lego later. Please…” Chris replies looking at Buck.

“Uh, sure buddy. Why not.” Buck replies and sees Chris smile before turning around to the main room turning the TV on.

“Come on let’s stand outside.” Buck says, grabbing Eddie's jacket which was hanging on the coat hanger by the door, he watches as Eddie gingerly moves to put his trainers on.

“Thanks for making an excuse to go outside.” Eddie says trying not to look at Buck.

“It is fine. I’m annoyed with you though, keeping this a secret and I don’t mean the loving me part either.” Buck says trying not to sound too annoyed but the last part came off a bit too strong.

“I know, I know, it's just...” Eddie starts but Buck cut’s him off.

“ _ You’re a Diaz man and you have to be strong. _ Is that what you’ve been thinking this whole time? Eddie if you're in pain you should have said something! This is something you can’t delay! Look, I know you don’t want to talk about it so I’m just gonna drop it for now.” Buck went off suddenly and what came after was a deafening silence. The discomfort in Eddie’s face made Buck punch himself to which he nearly does but controls himself. 

“How about we go watch a film and sleep and tomorrow we can have a quick chat and enjoy the day, I can stay for two days if you want me too.” Buck says trying to change the mood.

“Always, and I promise we will talk… Just not now.” Eddie says.

“Good, now come over here and hug me.” Buck says with a smile.

Eddie just falls into Buck's arms and hugs him tight.

“I’m guessing tomorrow we need to talk about the L word…” Eddie says awkwardly.

“That’s tomorrow's problem, tonight’s is making you feel comfy and resting.”

“Ok, thank you. Oh, there are only two rooms so are you ok with sleeping on the couch? I don’t mind sleeping on it if you want.” Eddie says breaking the hug.

“Edmundo, stop putting me or anyone else first for a night. You’re going in that bed even if I have to tie you down. I have slept on couches before and it's only for two days then I gotta head back.” Buck says, noticing Eddie's movement, “Don’t worry everyone at work thinks you’re at your parents. Bobby was a bit suspicious when I got to work, he said that you had gone to your parents and I was like but he never said anything while I was there. Bobby then cornered me in the locker room so I just said that maybe I got some wires crossed and then the alarm rang. A little warning would have been okay, you know I would have covered for you.”

“I know and I’m sorry, I didn’t warn you because I just needed to...” Eddie starts but drifts off.

“Get away from it all?” Buck smiles knowingly how it felt.

“Let’s head in, it’s getting cold.” Buck says and moves to the door and Eddie leads in taking his jacket off and slowly kicking his shoes off. Buck watches as he sees Eddie clearly struggling to take his jacket and shoes off but he just keeps quiet then follows Eddie into the main room.

Eddie ruffles Chris’ hair who smiles at him then looks to Buck. Eddie turns then slowly starts to make his way over to the kitchen when he feels a hand on his arm and looks to see Buck smiling at him.

“No, you sit down and rest, what did you want?” Buck asks.

“I was going to make us popcorn and hot chocolates.” Eddie replies.

“Yay, hot chocolate!” Chris says looking at them both.

“Ok well, I’ll make it while you sit no arguments, Eddie.” Buck says, giving Eddie a stern look.

“Fine…” Eddie says rolling his eyes and heads to sit with Chris.

Buck wanders over into the kitchen and looks around the cupboards trying to find the hot chocolate powder. So he searches through draws seeing the food Eddie had obviously got. He also found some pain killers and took some so Eddie could medicate if he hadn’t already, but Buck knew Eddie wouldn’t have as the packet was unopened. He found the chocolate powder and started making the drinks. While he waits for the milk and popcorn he looks over to the boys sitting on the sofa. Chris is laughing, smiling, and Eddie is struggling to smile how did Buck miss this? He thinks back to the day Eddie said his leg had started hurting, he should have done more especially after his research session to which he had his assumptions but then the fire at his apartment had him distracted but no more.

“Hey Bucky, can we have marshmallows please?” Chris asks.

“Did you buy any?” Buck asks as he knew he had not seen any.

“Top cupboard, next to the plates.” Eddie shouts.

Buck walks over and looks in the cupboard and sure enough, there are the marshmallows next to the cereal. Buck shakes his head, he really needs to teach Eddie how to put the correct items in the right cupboards.

“Who puts marshmallows with cereals? It makes no sense.” Buck shouts over.

“It does to me.” Eddie says.

“And me.” Chris adds.

“Well, yeah. Chris, you learned that bad habit from your dad, I think when we get back we will need a good long sort out of your draws, don’t you think?” Buck chuckles as he stirs the pan.

“Good luck, I haven’t cleared them out in ages.” Eddie lets out a laugh but gets cut short and Buck knows it most likely hurt.

Buck finishes making the drinks and popcorn placing them on a tray with a glass of water and puts the painkillers in his pocket. He makes his way to the living room where Chris was sitting on the floor with pillows so he just places his drink and popcorn next to him.

“Be careful it's hot.” Buck says pointing to the drink and Chris nods.

He then places his and Eddie's drinks on the coffee table and takes out the painkillers, passing them to Eddie as he takes a seat.

“Have you taken any at all today?” Buck asks trying not to glare at him too much.

“No, I kept forgetting. Plus, they make me tired and I came here to enjoy and not be tired.” Eddie replies.

“Eddie, you can’t fight through the pain so take some. I’m here, it will be ok.”

“I know and thank you…” Eddie says as he takes some and washes it down with water.

They sit there and watch the film. But every now and then they would look at each other and often catch each other doing it, letting out a little smile. Eventually, Eddie started to nod off and Buck noticed Chris was out cold. He gets up and picks Chris then puts him to bed. After which he came back quietly cleaning up and once done, he turned the TV off and gently nudged Eddie.

“Hey, come on. Let’s get you to bed” Buck says and Eddie nods as he slowly walks to his room. Buck was close behind carrying another glass of water and painkillers.

He watches as Eddie climbs into bed, not even bothering to change and Buck doesn’t say anything. He just places the pills and water next to Eddie and heads to the door.

“Shout if you need me, goodnight.” Buck says.

“Thank you and goodnight too.” Eddie says.

Buck walks back towards the living room stopping at a closet which he hopes has blankets in it and it doesn’t. He looks through the rest of the cupboards and there are no spare blankets at all.

“What kind of lodge doesn’t have spares?” He says to himself.

Eddie lays there quietly hearing Buck and smiles at what he heard. Having him here was a godsend, he didn’t know why he thought Buck would only show him kindness out of pity. That wasn’t Buck at all. He rolls gently, listening to more doors being opened and closed, and decides enough is enough.

“Buck.” Eddie says and within seconds, Buck is at the door.

“Is everything ok? What happened?” Buck says.

“Nothing, I can hear you in the draws, what are you after?”

“I can’t find the spare blankets.”

“Oh, well. It’s late, just get the bed with me.” Eddie says and see’s Buck's eyes go wide.

“Erm, you sure?”

“Buck, we’re friends. We can share a bed we did the other day, I can’t have you freezing out there. You would be no use to us if you get a cold. Just get in and sleep. We can find the blankets tomorrow.” Eddie says pulling the covers back.

“Ok then.” Buck says as he strips his clothes so he is in just his boxers. Eddie stares as the moonlight makes Buck’s pale skin shine, yet it shadows some of his body making him look hauntingly handsome. He loved how Buck looked but this was not the time or place for that.

“Take a picture, it will last longer.”

“You are the worst. Why’d you strip?”

“Well, unlike some I find it rude to wear clothes I’ve been in all day and get into bed with them. I’ll let you off though.”

“Ok, let’s just sleep. Chris will be up early now you are here.”

“Very true, night Eddie.” Buck says as he rolls over.

“Night.” Eddie replies as he just looks at the back of Buck’s head. He wished it were under better circumstances, but he was happy with this moment.

Buck struggles to sleep through the night, he is still trying to process everything he has learned and when Eddie wakes they were going have to have a very long and emotional talk which Buck didn’t mind as it was a long time coming but he knew for Eddie this was going be hard, Buck turns gently and looks at Eddie whos fast asleep and Buck can feel tears forming in his eyes the fear kicking in that of Eddie was ill he could lose him, he wipes the tears.

_ ‘No, don’t think like that!’ _ Buck says to himself.

He rests his head on the pillow and just watches Eddie sleep and smiles as he sees a bit of drool drip from the corner of Eddie's lip, Buck closed his eyes and nodded off.

“Bucky you're still here!” Chris' voice rang through Buck’s ears louder than any alarm, which made him sit up instantly.

“I am buddy, but it’s a bit early to be up...” Buck says noting that it was only six am, he looks over to Eddie who is awake but has not moved and smiles at him. Eddie rolls over facing away from Buck and sits up.

“Chris, come on, let's go into the living room and put some tv on and maybe nap for an hour?” Eddie says, he feels a hand on his shoulder so turns back.

“Stay, I can go in the living room while you two rest.” Buck explains.

“It's fine, plus you know, you need to change.” Eddie says smiling and Buck remembers he is just in his boxers and can feel the heat making him go red.

“Can we have pancakes?” Chris asks, making Eddie and Buck both look at the younger Diaz.

“Maybe...” Eddie says “Come on then let's go.”

Chris wanders off and Eddie slowly rises. He was feeling tired but pushed through and made his way out. Buck watched Eddie struggle and knew he needed to talk the man into seeing the doctors. 

Eddie wandered through the lodge to the living room where Chris had already settled and had the tv on. So Eddie takes a seat next to him and Chris huddles up. Buck now dressed walks slowly to the living room and stands at the doorway leading to the kitchen, watching the two people that he had wormed himself into their lives.

“Dad, are you and Buck boyfriends?” The question throws Eddie off, and Buck feels bad for not being there and he knows he shouldn’t go in.

“Why do you ask that?” Eddie quizzes.

“You shared a bed, people who love each other share a bed don’t they? And after the other day where I explained what I saw and that Carla agreed I thought you would be.” Chris replies.

“No, we are just friends and we can share beds too, and this couch wasn’t comfy so that’s why Buck shared my bed. And remember he doesn’t know as you and Carla won’t say anything so let’s keep it like that.” Eddie explains knowing he already confessed his feelings in a silly letter, while Buck felt his heart break. He loved Eddie so why could Eddie not be honest with Chris?

“Oh...” Chris says and Eddie can sense the sad tone.

“Why so glum?” Eddie asks.

“I want Buck to be your boyfriend, so he can stay with us all the time.” Chris says and it hits him how much his son loves Buck.

“Well, let's enjoy the most of the time he is here and stays with us, ok?” Eddie explains. Buck decides he needs to pipe up.

“So, pancakes for breakfast?” Buck says to which he was greeted with a jolly  _ yes  _ from Chris.

“Ok then, why don’t you watch tv while I make them. Eddie wanna help me?” Buck asks.

“Sure.” Eddie replies with dread of what was going to be brought up.

He slowly walks to the kitchen and Buck already has pills and water in his hands ready for Eddie. To which Eddie takes and leans against the counter.

“So, you can shout at me for eavesdropping again, but why did you say that to Chris? Why not tell him that I know you love me? Are you ashamed of me?” Buck questions, Eddie feels like an idiot.

“No, I'd never be ashamed of you, and I said that because you know he would automatically go off saying that we’re together and you will be his second dad... And we haven’t even spoken about you know... Us, and then I have..” Eddie couldn’t face saying it. The fact that he could leave them earlier than he expects.

“The lump, Eddie. I know, a lot is going on and I'm sorry. I should have seen it from your view and that, it’s just... I have waited for so long to get the chance to hold your hand, and tell you how much I’m in love with you.” Buck says getting closer to Eddie.

_ ‘He only loves you as you may be ill.’ _ The thoughts in his head start.

“Do you?” Eddie questions, he was unsure as he had the doubt running through his mind.

“Yes. And not through pity like your mind is most likely thinking, but because everyday that we spend together, I fall deeper and deeper in love with you. I’m not here to rush you or push you into anything that might make you feel uncomfortable. I'm here because you need me, I know you’re not much for talking, but I do need to know what your feelings are for me and then we can move forward... Or stay as we are but I need to hear your side and if you can’t I understand but please try.”

Eddie stands there listening to Buck. He thinks about all the wasted time they have wasted away and what little time he could have left. Now he doesn’t want to wait any more and waste any more time.

_ ‘Tomorrow is never promised.’ _ his mind reacts to what he said to Chim.

With this thought clear in his mind, he does something impulsive. He closes the space left between them and places a kiss on Buck’s lips, he feels Buck lean in but then they both freeze.

“Yay! But EWWWWWW!” Chris shouts and they break apart.

“Chris, erm..” Eddie says he was like a reindeer in headlights.

“So, Chris you cheeky monkey it was me. How did you manage to keep that quiet? Plus, I'm hurt. I thought we were buddies.” Buck says.

“I know, I'm sorry. But Carla said it was something dad had to figure out, without us interfering.” Chris explains.

“It’s fine, just go back to the living room for a bit.” Buck says then turns to Eddie, “We need to talk.” And then they hear crutches going to the living room.

“Thank you, Buck.” Eddie says.

“It’s fine, it’s new for all of us, though at least we know he will be okay if we date.”

“Oh, so you want a date?”

“Well, erm, if that’s ok with you? I would love to...” Buck replies with his goofy smile and watches in worry as Eddie takes a seat and rubs around his groin. It’s a sharp realization for Eddie that time may not be on his side, he couldn’t face the worse and only be dating Buck, he needed more time, he needed to be selfish for once.

“Not really, no. I am done waiting around, Buck will you please be my boyfriend? When you think about it, we have had so many nights out and in that have felt like dates. I don’t want to wait anymore.” Eddie confesses.

Buck doesn’t answer to which it made Eddie worry for a bit. Then in an instant, Buck leans in, quickly kisses Eddie, Eddie returns it with a fervor that made Buck shiver.

“Guessing that’s a yes?” Eddie says after breaking the kiss. 

“Of course, now you’re stuck with me forever.” Buck says and Eddie dreams of waking up to Buck forever. But really? For how long could that be?

“However long that is...” Eddie says glumly.

“Don’t talk like that. We are calling the doctor later, you understand?” Buck replies holding tightly to Eddie’s shoulders. Eddie thought about it, what if it's nothing and he is just playing the worst-case scenario in his head? What if he goes to the doctor and it’s nothing or not even there? He didn’t want to look like a fool. 

He thinks about it for a second, the doctors wouldn’t be a good idea. He needed to check again, but he didn’t trust himself. He looked over and saw Buck staring at him, quietly waiting for his answer.

“Ok, but could you check as well for me?” Eddie says and he hated asking.

Buck looked at Eddie as he asked and he knew it was a hard thing to do.

“Of course, let’s eat first, and then we will go into the shower. Get you in the warm water and I’ll check.”

“Shower?” 

“I read it’s best to check after a nice long warm shower so that’s what we will do, ok? I mean it wasn’t how I expected to get my first fondle of your lower region but hey...” Buck says with a smile.

“So you wanted to fondle me?” Eddie jokes back wanting to lift the somber mood that had filled the room.

“Oh come on, I bet you wanted to fondle me too.” Buck says with a cheeky grin.

“I will not admit anything, but we should eat before the munchkin comes to pester.” 

“Yeah, you go sit with him and don’t bother trying to argue with me. I’ll make the food then you can take shower and I will well you know.” 

“Thank you.” Eddie says and kisses Buck on the cheek before wandering into the living room sitting with Chris who is grinning.

They watch TV as the sound of Buck making breakfast can be heard, Eddie ponders how he got so lucky to have Buck in his and Chris’s life? 

Eventually, Buck calls them to eat and they wander through. Eddie sits, his mind falls back to the future and what it could mean. Eddie hasn't even realized he has finished. The sound of Buck cleaning the dishes pulls his back, the empty table in front of him, the sound of Chris laughing in the living room. 

He looks to Buck who smiles at him and signals him to head to the bedroom. He slowly gets up and wanders down to the bedroom, grabbing a change of clothes, and heads to the bathroom. 

He strips and starts the water waiting for it to get warm before he enters and starts to shower. He lets the water run down his back and lets the warmth of the water heat his body up. Eddie slowly washes himself and then rinses himself off. He stands under the water for a while just letting the jet beat at his neck and shoulders. Eventually, he stops the water and hears the door open. He knew it was Buck, but he didn’t want to move with worry setting in. 

If Buck feels it, Eddie didn’t know what he would do. He lets out a sigh and moves out of the shower and Buck is sat leaning against the sink. Eddie picks his towel up and starts to dry himself off a bit.

“Well... You're looking... Just wow.” Buck stutters and Eddie lets a little smile, even with the seriousness of what was going on he appreciated Buck’s little bit of Buckness.

“Shall we do this?” Eddie says, turning his head trying not to make eye contact.

“Ok, just relax.” Buck says.

“Easier said than done, you ain’t standing naked in front of your boyfriend for the first time.” Eddie explains and he knows he’s blushing. He never thought this was how Buck would see him naked. Well, there were the showers in the firehouse but that was different, they were not as intimate as now, they were also covered so it was fine. But now?

Buck smiles and turns to run water in the sink and starts to strip.

“Buck what are you doing?” Eddie questions.

“Well, you're right, which I hate to admit. You're standing there naked, so I’m gonna make you feel more comfortable and hopefully less awkward so I’ll strip too. I’m just gonna warm my hands up, you don’t want cold hands... You know grabbing.” Buck says sheepishly.

“Thank you...” Eddie says still avoiding eye contact. He loved how much Buck was going out of his way to make him feel comfortable. 

He watches as Buck soaks his hands and then dries them before taking in the beautiful view of Buck’s muscular back down to his butt. Eddie couldn’t help but notice the niches and ridges that outline Buck’s behind, it made Eddie want to touch him, to embrace him, but he had to control himself.

“Right if you lift you, well you know, the shaft, and I’ll gently check. Just let me know if it hurts ok” Buck explains and sheepishly kneel in front of Eddie, “Which one did you feel?”

“Left.” Eddie states quickly and lifts his shaft, turning to look at the tile wall. He can't look down, scared of Buck’s expression.

He feels Buck’s warm hands slowly rub over and the pain starts as he moves around and Eddie winces making Buck stop.

“Sorry.” Buck quickly says.

“It’s ok, just that it hurts there.” Eddie explains still looking at the tile wall.

“Ok, I’m going to go over again but press a bit more ok? Just to get a good feel.”

“Ok.” Eddie says and braces as Buck starts again with a firmer press. He winces as the pain starts again jabbing him sharply, Buck stops and Eddie feels his finger go over the same spot twice more before stopping. Eddie closes his eyes dreading the answer, he feels Buck’s fingers leave.

“Eddie, open your eyes.” Buck says.

Eddie opens and see’s Buck standing in front of him, his expression unreadable, and he can’t face looking at him so Eddie just leans into Buck and feels Buck’s arm close around him.

“You felt it didn’t you?” Eddie questions. 

He didn’t want to know the answer but he needed to know.

“Yes.” Buck states and Eddie feels tears forming, “It’s going to be ok. Let’s get dressed and call the doctor, get you in ASAP, even if it means we have to go back today.” Buck calmly says to Eddie, holding his shoulders to steady himself before fiercely hugging him. 

It was so awkward to be hugged by another naked man, but he wasn’t any other man out there. Still, this wasn’t how Eddie was expecting their first encounter naked would turn out to be. In the bathroom, naked, and checking for a lump

Eddie couldn’t say anything, he didn’t want to talk, he breaks the hug and slowly gets dressed. By the time he has got dressed he turns to see Buck all dressed and looking at him but he could see Buck wasn’t looking at him with pity but with his happy face which confused Eddie.

“Why do you look so happy?” Eddie questions.

“Because the last thing you need is someone giving you a pity look. Plus, you are now my boyfriend, definitely not how I planned this week but I'm happy I have you.” Buck explains and sheepishly looks away.

Eddie looks at Buck with a smile, somehow he was expecting that kind of reaction from Buck. It was Like he knew somehow. How did he get so lucky to get someone as charming as Buck?

“Right, call your doctor. Explain everything and I’ll keep Chris busy and explain we may have to leave today, ok?” Buck states and Eddie nods.

Buck turns and hands Eddie his phone before walking out of the room. Eddie unlocks his phone and opens the contacts and hovers over the doctor’s number, it was just after 8 am so they would be open so he presses the dial. 

He speaks to the receptionist who takes his information and asks him what is the problem and Eddie hesitates, but despite the fear Eddie explains about the lump and pain he has and the nurse explains he needs to get it checked today to be sure. Eddie explains he is a few hours out so won’t be able to get there till at 6 pm. The receptionist explains they're open till 7 pm so he can be booked in at 6:30 pm and Eddie thanks the lady then hangs up and leaves the bathroom. Ready to upset Chris with having to leave early, he wanders down the hall and stops as he hears Buck talking.

“I’m hoping I can make him happy, he has just been tired from all the work he does.” Buck states and Eddie presumes Chris has asked why Eddie seems tired.

He walks in trying to paint a smile, but he knew he could keep it up for so long.

“I have a good-news bad news kind of thing, we will have to leave today and like within the hour. I got that meeting...” Eddie states.

“Ah cool, right. Chris, remember what I said? Go get your stuff packed” Buck says gently nudging Chris to stand up.

“Okay.” Chris says getting up and heads off to his room, hugging Eddie as he passes him.

“So...” Buck says unsure of what to say.

“6:30, tonight. What did you say to Chris?” Eddie questions.

“I explained we may have head back today as Bobby needs help at a big event and that we would arrange to come back here soon. He asked if I was going to come to and I said we will see what you would say.” Buck explains.

“Buck, you’re my boyfriend. My cariño...” Eddie says lacing his fingers with Bucks, “You will be here, no questions.” Eddie explains before kissing him and sees Buck smile like an idiot.

“Right, let’s get everything sorted, and oh I kind of called your Abuela and asked her to have Chris tonight so that I can come with you... And then we can process everything, I just said we had been summoned to work.”

“Thank you.” 

They spend half an hour getting the place tidy. Eddie lets the people know he has to head back as he has been summoned to work and starts to pack his car and Buck says he will meet them at Abuelas. The drive back gave Eddie mixed emotions, he was happy as he had Buck finally, but he was also feeling sad that life l was about to kick him in the face and take it all away and make Buck feel abandoned again. Which he never wanted to do and Chris would lose another parent. 

Maybe he was just overthinking, but how couldn’t you overthink something like this?

He listens to Chris as he rattles on about how happy he is and that he can’t wait to tell people about his dad and Buck. Eddie explains that they need to keep it a secret for a while and Chris promises. 

Honestly, he doesn’t know what this kid knows. For all he could care, this kid might be a secret genius plotting something against him. It’s just… Scary, that his kid had to grow up so early. Due to his condition, he had to. Sometimes his kid seemed to know something that Eddie doesn’t know, and most times he is surprised by how wise the kid is. And as a parent, Eddie honestly didn’t know what to do and this scared him. 

They finally pulled up at Abuelas and it was just getting to 5:15 pm. Traffic was congested badly due to an accident that caused major delays, but Eddie was happy to get Chris inside to Abuelas.

“So, what is this big event?” Abuela asks.

“I’m not sure, Buck is the best one to ask.” Eddie says as he notices Buck's jeep turn up and he lets a smile.

“Ahh, I see,” Abuela says in that tone Eddie knows all too well.

“What?” Eddie questions even though he knows she knows something already.

“You can’t take me as a fool, Edmundo. Are you going on a date with Evan?” Abuela states so casually that it made Eddie feel dumbfounded.

So dumbfounded that his Abuela would come out with this, his thoughts shake when the door knocks and before he can intercept the door his Abuela opens the door with quick reflexes even for a woman her age.

“Evan, nice to see you, where are the flowers?” Abuela asks and Eddie slaps his hand over his face not wanting to see Bucks face.

“What do you mean flowers?” Buck questions looking at Eddie who still has his hand covering his face.

“If you’re taking my grandson out on a date you should have turned up with flowers.” Abuela says with a giggle.

“It’s not a date, it’s a work thing...” Buck responds and Eddie just wants to curl up and die, it couldn’t get any worse. Right?

“Oh, please don’t lie to me. I saw Chim and he said you were both off for the next few days, so I put two and two together. Especially, after you came around panicking over where Edmundo had gone off to.” She explains and of course, with their luck they would get found out. Abuela wasn’t stupid.

“It's fine Abuela if you must know me and Buck are together, but tonight is a work thing. I promise.” Eddie says walking over and lacing his hand with Bucks.

“Finally,” She says as she pulls them both in for a hug, “Go have fun.” She adds with a wink.

Abuela’s actions shocked Eddie, and the way she said ‘finally’ made him think that she knew or she had caught on to something between them beforehand. It made Eddie convinced that he got his observative nature from his grandmother.

“Just don’t tell anyone, especially my parents. I can’t be dealing with them right now.” Eddie responds.

“Ok. Just go! And stay safe.” She says.

As they both leave, Buck drags Eddie to his jeep and they head off to the doctors. 

Eddie remains silent the whole way but the comfort from Buck’s hand on his thigh kept him grounded. They pull up to the doctors and Buck gets out first and Eddie looks at the building. What would the diagnosis be? He wonders as the door opens and he sees his Buck smiling at him.

“You ready?” He asks and lends out a hand to help Eddie down.

“I suppose I am.” Eddie says putting a brave face on.

“Don’t worry. I’m with you.” Buck says and they head in.

Eddie checks in and they wait to be called. Eventually, they are called in and Eddie drags Buck in, he needs the support. 

Once in the room, he explains to the doctor what had happened and the pain, Buck then explains he had checked and felt it too. The doctor explains he needs to have a feel but it could easily be a cyst or fatty lump which makes Eddie feel slightly better, he goes behind the curtain and prepares. The anticipation of knowing what it was made Eddie queasy, but with Buck there offering his support made this a little bit easier.

“Right, this will be a little uncomfortable but I need to use a firm hand. I'll be as quick as possible.” The doctor explains.

“Ok.” Eddie replies.

He stands there as the doctor feels round. The pain starts again but he keeps quiet till the doctor is finished.

“Alright Mr. Diaz, we are all done if you want to dress and take a seat.” the doctor says.

Eddie pulls his boxers and trousers up before sitting back down next to Buck. He laces his fingers between Buck’s.

“Mr. Diaz, there is a lump in your left testis and I am concerned with what you have explained to me about feeling tired. So I will print you a note to take to the hospital for your biopsy. We can test it then and assess the next step, as I previously stated it could easily be a cyst or fatty lump so let's get the test done.” The doctor explains and Eddie nods.

He watches as the doctor types and collects the printout. He feels Buck’s grip tighten to let him know he is still here.

“This is the letter you will need. Now when you go to the hospital, and I stress you should go tomorrow morning, prepare anything necessary as they may take you straight in. Is there anything you want to ask me?” The doctor asks as he hands Eddie the letter.

“No, I’m good thank you.” Eddie replies as he just wants out. He can feel the tears wanting to burst but holds them back.

“I have one.” Buck states, and Eddie wasn’t surprised. Buck will want to learn as much as he can to help Eddie.

“Go on.” The doctor replies.

“What are we talking about if it is cancer? What's the prognosis and treatment?” Buck questions and it’s the one thing Eddie doesn’t want to know, but at the same time at least he can prepare himself for the worst.

“If it is, and I must stress it can easily not be, depending on the spread and severity of it, you may be looking at chemo. But also an operation to remove the infected area.” The doctor says and that hits Eddie hard, he didn’t think an operation may be needed, “I suggest you go home and get as much sleep as you can.”

“Thank you...” Buck says as they get up and leave. 

Eddie moves on autopilot, the surrounding world warping into nothing but a blur. Everything the Doctor said kept running through his mind, he didn’t even realize he was home until he heard the front door close.

“We’re home?” Eddie questions slightly confused the trip back was such a blur.

“Yeah, you kind of zoned out and just went on. I didn’t want to push you, just wanted you to know process things, how are you feeling?” Buck asks and slowly makes his way towards Eddie.

Eddie thinks for a second and he didn’t know how he felt. If he was honest there were so many emotions currently running through his head. He doesn’t answer and walks to his room, he hears Buck call but he just enters the room and sits on the bed as he looks at the letter in front of him. The same letter he left here as he  _ left _ Buck, for the fear of what was about to come, for the fear that he might hurt someone he loves. The tears start to fall as he places the letter on the side and puts his hands to his face.

Buck hears the sob and runs straight into the bedroom and see’s Eddie hunched over sobbing into his hands. He had never seen Eddie like this, the cool and calm emotionless man he had known for years was crying. But knew he had to be strong and not break as well, at least not around Eddie anyway. He walks up and sits next to Eddie and rubs his hand over Eddies back.

“I’m here Eddie...” Buck says, “I will be with you the whole way, I have your back remember?”

Eddie moves his hands and turns to Buck and sees his warm smile that he gives him despite the tears clouding his vision and falls into the open arms Buck holds up and just breaks down in Buck's arms. Buck starts to cry too, knowing this was going to be hard but he had faith it would be nothing.

“I don’t know what I would do if you weren’t here Buck.” Eddie sniffs.

“Knowing you, trying to push through this and not getting yourself checked.” Buck explains and Eddie knows he was right, if it weren’t for Buck’s push he wouldn’t have gone to the doctors.

“You’re right, it's just...” Eddie starts and thinks about what his dad used to say.

“You are a Diaz I know, but you know asking for help shows strength too. As we all know people find it hard to ask for it, so you have taken a big step today and I'm so proud of you.” Buck explains and places a kiss on the side of Eddie's head.

“Thank you, I love you, Evan...” Eddie says as he holds tighter.

“Eddie, I love you too, and we will get through this.”

Buck holds on to Eddie as the sobs disappear but he can still hear him sniffing and the wetness of the tears soaking his shirt. But he doesn’t move, he just holds Eddie. And after a while, he feels Eddie has stopped crying and a faint snore can be heard so he gently moves Eddie into the bed and covers him, and places a kiss on his forehead before moving around to the other side. Knowing that if Eddie wakes up he will need to be there, so he climbs in and sits up to start researching, eventually, falling asleep with his phone in his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos always welcomed
> 
> have a great Christmas :)

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave comments and Kudos its what drives me to write :)  
> I will be updating soon, if you have any ideas or suggestions Find me on Tumblr @afstory1988  
> http://www.testicularcancernetwork.co.uk for information on testicular cancer  
> Remember lads Check your balls


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